Ica wrote 2 days ago

Very, very good. This reminds me vaguely of the Hunger Games, but only a bit. I can't wait for more!
Ica

Tessa~Faith wrote 20 days ago

Chapter ONE:
I enjoyed the first chapter immensly. You have a few stiff spots, but overall it's good. The one thing I would suggest you change is the paragraph where Arianna is stating why she doesn't want to be a princess. The writing seems too modern for the story, other then that I loved it! I want to read more!

Chapter TWO:
"Usually they can (could) help."
"It only shows (showed) that the royal family still cares (cared)..."
" 'Lead the way.(,)' he invited."
"...after a great war that Arianna was never alive for." This sounds like the war keeps happening over and over. You might want to fix that.

You seem to use alot of hyphens (-). You might want to pare down a little.

And your dialogue seems a bit modern in this chapter as well.

Chapter THREE:
" '...yes.{,}' She confirmed."
"...saying those two {three} words to him..."
"Even when it rained you could still come out here..." This whole sentence is confusing.
" 'It's magnificent. {,} Royce complimented."
Again I think your dialogue is a bit modern.

Happy writing,
Tessa~Faith

Christina April Chen wrote 28 days ago

I love this story!! Its got every genre in that I love and its just amazing!! I love this book!!! WOW!

redprimarily wrote 34 days ago

seriously !!! you got me hooked on yet another story of yours .... you are such an amazing writer ! this story is absolutely wonderful , now im going to have to beg you to update these stories too ... lool

Alina Pose wrote 38 days ago

i love this and im waiting for more!

Alina Pose wrote 38 days ago

i love this and im waiting for more!

teddybear_1 wrote 58 days ago

I absolutely love this story! The exchanges between the characters are wonderful and Arianna is completely relatable. Its a wonderful story and I can't wait for the next chapter!

bekisp wrote 75 days ago

one of the most amazing stories i have read in a really long time!!! :) I read a ton of books and this is one of the best! I cant wait for you to write more ^-^

GirlInTheBeanie wrote 106 days ago

GUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA chapter five was HILARIOUS
i love your writing-- it's very clear, and your descriptions are clear and blunt. i like the distinct personalities, they're awesome.
no major flaws worth mentioning, but i love your humor and refreshing voice. =.=

xxxZEROxxx wrote 107 days ago

You have concocted a beautiful opening. I love Arianna. She's such a romantic that she's so easy for me to relate to. She's so persevering, and I just like the way she is really desperate for her true love. I think that's really adorable.
The way the characters talk makes them really enchanting--just like they were carved from a fairytale, and their names are awesome too!
Just wanted to say this but BLOND you got it right! It's really hard to read something where people use blonde for guys. blond=guys, blondE=girls. Just wanted to throw that out.
I really like the idea of the enchanted forest. It reminds me of this TV show I used to watch (but it didn't have princesses) and I just feel in love with that show, like I did with this book. Back to the story...the forest gives the story a bit of excitement and thrill. Nice touch.
I'm stickin' this on my picks if it wasn't obvious already.
-Susie:D

diran823 wrote 152 days ago

WHen is the next time you will update?

xemmawhyx wrote 185 days ago

Amazing
Update please - LOVE IT!

Frankie Aura wrote 218 days ago

Fifth world war?

lol i like that.
I'm coming back for more.

:D

Night of the ExorMist wrote 223 days ago

I caught a few grammar mistakes in the latest chapter, but other than that, its great so far! I can't wait for the next chapter :)

diran823 wrote 225 days ago

are you going to be updating this soon?

leahsayshellooo wrote 226 days ago

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA i love the end of the forth chapter.

bbpstudios wrote 227 days ago

Your blurb about this story reminds me of all but human. You Guys should check it out at my page.

MissMaddyMarie wrote 233 days ago

As far as the first chapter goes, fantastic. I have no good critique, and will get to reading the rest of it eventually. Really good!

Love.she.wrote wrote 235 days ago

looove itttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so amazing! i love the idea, it was so thought out!

fiveforfighting42 wrote 240 days ago

I just finished the first chapter, and it is excellent. I like the concept so far, and you are great with dialouge. I saw a few errors, though: when the men first walk into the conference room and see the faces of the people, you should change "upmost" to "utmost". Also, when the men first get up to speak, you change tenses with the word "seek". You should change it to "seeked". Other than those, I really like it so far. Adding to my picks and reading the rest soon!