LissaLee wrote 44 days ago

exactly how i feel. amazingly put. wonderful. just. wonderful.

LissaLee wrote 44 days ago

exactly how i feel. amazingly put. wonderful. just. wonderful.

spindelberrygirl wrote 45 days ago

I usually don't like romantic/breakup/ sappy poems but I loved this one! There were some spots that rhymed and many metaphors. I love the way you have a good/happy/positive thing and bad/sad/negative thing in the beginning, where you have two lines paired together. They compare and contrast, yet fit together "like milk and cookies". In all, I think all that I have to say is in the paragraph where it's talking about dreams and nightmares coming true it would sound better as "but on the pessimistic flip side nightmares do too." instead of "but on the pessimistic flip side, nightmares and come true too." Also, although I get that you formatted it the way you did because it works and sounds better that way, the fact that there are the spots with two sentences bunched together at the beginning and then the single lines afterwords is somewhat unpleasant on the eyes, and makes the poem sort of uneven. Still, all in all, I loved it! I'm even going to pick it, I think!

antoinette wrote 53 days ago

that's beautiful...really wonderful. it's powerful and emotional. i got chills when i read it!! and it's something people can relate to. very very well done!

Neicy101 wrote 59 days ago

Hey! I'm re-reading this poem...and it's still breathtaking! *Neicy*

Wicked678 wrote 62 days ago

this is great i teared up alittle in the middle cause i reminds so much of the life of a person i know and love this poem is really amazing

Maria19849 wrote 89 days ago

This poem is magnificent. Each line carried so much depth, meaning, and sorrow; it was emotional to read. The secret battles that we hold inside ourselves is a very interesting and amazing topic to write about. I could really take this poem personally. My favorite line was "I help them escape their demons, while I am maimed by their claws." Wow. That fits so perfectly in my life, and it flows effortlessly with the poem. On writing levels: I loved the way you wrote this. The bold accents were a nice add. So overall, painfully stunning job, and I loved it. It would be a crime not to pick this.

Rachiee wrote 103 days ago

I really like this, it's thoughtful and inspiring. I really like the way you set it all up with one statement bolded and the next not, it makes it even more impactful. well done!
-Rachiee;

neomonni wrote 104 days ago

Wow. I really loved it! :) Awesome!

EbonySkye wrote 108 days ago

God, that's amazing! I could feel the anger and thae pain. You have a great gift.

ohbabyitskt wrote 109 days ago

This was great. It really struck me emotionally and i could relate to it, which is a gift that you have.

bananabootz wrote 111 days ago

I completely am in awe of this poem, the writing, imagery; it's all very dark, but also very positive. I couldn't be more inspired by this poem. Each line held something on its own. GREAT JOB!

Leauna wrote 117 days ago

Wow...this is great. It holds so much emotion. Great job! Love the second line. "Lost in my darkness again, same debts to pay..."
And for some reason this reminds oddly of a Bible verse or hymn.

Leauna wrote 117 days ago

This is a great little poem. I, especially liked the first two lines and how they contradicted each other in such a lovely manner and in the seventh line I love the word choice. Callous and malice is fun to say together. And with the talk of cookies and pie, I am now hungry. Thanks. :P

nikannika wrote 121 days ago

Great word choice, great topic, it's touching, it's beautiful, it's something we can all relate to. the only critique i can give is to work on your flow. The individual sentences flowed, but not the poem as a whole. Other than that, it's amazing. It's deep and insightful, and really, there's not too much I can say that hasn't already been said. great job. (: It's very real.

Amanda Elizabeth wrote 138 days ago

This was absoultely amazing. The line "I repair other's lives, while I lay bent and broken" describes my life. It had a great flow. I loved it.

amj_4tots wrote 143 days ago

I luffff this.

IAmMe66 wrote 145 days ago

Wow. I think this is one of the first poems on here thats really left me speechless. This is amazing. So raw, and real, and true. The words were perfect, the flow was great as was the rhyming. Beautiful job.

Safyre wrote 148 days ago

Wow, this just leaves me speechless. This shows exactly what a true, caring person would feel when life has run them down. Your descriptions were breathtaking, and the content just blew my mind away. Amazing job.

Neicy101 wrote 149 days ago

Speechless... I LOVE it. *Neicy*
P:S- Did I mention I loved it? I really do.