sila

comments on my work

Nabila wrote 10 hours ago

nice! i love how you portray the heart break felt when saying goodbye. A lot of my poems follow on this topic. Well written!

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xxrosepetalx734 wrote 14 hours ago

Wow! I love this! It has great contrast and the emotions are strong. It is without a doubt, beautifully written and one of the best so far.

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pinkbook14 wrote 7 days ago

....this poem is amazing :) I really loved it...and it reminds me of what i went through a while back :)

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Author S M Johnston wrote 13 days ago

I really enjoyed this poem. The light and shade. The showing of self sacrifice but in a unique way. I particular liked the line
I help them espace their demons, while I am mained by their claws.

I think a lot of teens would relate to these feelings. Will be putting on my picks next rotate.

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the_logographer wrote 13 days ago

This has fabulous contrast, and even though I haven't gone through a romantic break-up, it really strikes me as holding a lot of truth. Great emotion. Fantastic job.

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Kariah wrote 16 days ago

wow, I think I've read this before, but I'm glad I read it again.
Really Really good.

Just the message I needed today in particular,
Excellent job

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Aubrie Catan wrote 20 days ago

This poem was so familiar to my internal feelings. KEEP WRITING!

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vballchick45 wrote 21 days ago

This is amazing. are you a pro? I don't even know what to say. I want to comment but there are no words to describe what I'm feeling, or what I think of this! My goodness! Very relatable also. I dunno what else to say, besides this is indescribable.

WRITE ON:)

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hawk\eye wrote 25 days ago

wowww you have a real talent !!!!

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Lyrikal Wright wrote 26 days ago

Wow. This poem stuck to me, and kind of gave me goosebumps. Phenomenal job. I was waiting to find one last amazing piece to put on my picks. I believe I found it.

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nesa09 wrote 27 days ago

my favorite lines are i help them escape their demons, while i am maimed by their claws--brilliant! truly shows the human spirit's complexities.

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fiveforfighting42 wrote 30 days ago

I am awestruck. This is amazingly amazing. I am astounded that this isn't in the top 5 yet. It is so beautiful and emotional and I love it. I'm just...wow. Phenomenal job. I'm adding this to my picks.

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AutumnGirl wrote 32 days ago

This was wonderful! Great theme, great rhyme and rhythm! I loved it. My only criticism (and it could just be me) is that in line 6 i think there may be a missing comma between the words "myself" and "afraid"; and in line 11 i think there may also be a missing comma between "here" and "only." It messes up the rhythm a bit if you read it aloud.

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Kariah wrote 37 days ago

"Nightmares can come true to" I liked this part

This was really powerful and good, I really liked it.
I loved everything about this,
from the imagery to the rhyming,
the concept to the descriptiveness.

I can find no flaw with this writing,
it is genuine and good.

Added to Picks^^

Excellent job

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iwillbeyoursky wrote 37 days ago

this was magnificent.
everything you wrote,every rhyme, every word it really touched me.
i felt as if i was right there feeling exactly how you were. i am going to add you to my picks

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Drowning.Silently. wrote 42 days ago

This was so poignantly beautiful. The emotions, the imagery...and how you tied it all together into a poem was just fantastic. This line really stuck with me: "I help them escape their demons, while I'm maimed by their claws." -- everything you spoke of and describe seemed to strike me to the deepest interval, and trust me, that's hard to do. I'll hopefully be adding you to my pick's next month.You've got some talent.

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peanut081981 wrote 46 days ago

Beautiful writing, very vivid. I love the words, the message, everything about it. Great job!

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orion wrote 49 days ago

"I move and breathe, but am I still alive?" That got me. So sharp and so beautiful. I can really feel the emotion in here.

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William Fitch wrote 50 days ago

I like how you tell your story allowing the reader to feel what you are. Personally i went through the same thing recently where I just refuse to call back. Lol So I definitely can relate to what you are saying here. Good I def like the pattern and the flow too

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MIC wrote 51 days ago

“The mask held up so well, happiness is fun faking”---ooo, I liked this

“the mask is breaking”---good

“In my mind I hear the screams and feel the bars”---wow! This was great!

“I’m locked away inside myself afraid to show these scars”---wow, now, this … is awesome

“My wings wilt before me while my foundation is crumbling”---really nice

“I speak of hope, yet I haven’t dreamed in so long”----yeah! This was awesome!

“I repair other’s lives, while I lay bent and broken”---love this

“I brighten other’s spirits, while mine grows dim”---good

“An almost human tool”—nice

“But since I don’t know what that is, I guess I’ll never be free”----this line says it all!!!!

Wow! That last line ... bravo! But the thing is, that last line wouldn't have meant so much if you hadn't
portrayed the rest of the poem so nicely ... a perfect build to the message. Well done! ~Morgan:)

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