Book Jacket

Editors Picktop pick

Word Count

18354

Date submitted

01.25.2010

Date Updated

03.01.2010

Revealing Colors: Book 1 in the Autumn Dreams Series

by Evie J

Book: General Fiction, Paranormal, Mystery

Don't let your leaves fall.

DON'T PICK THIS PLEASE. It's a top pick and it's someone else's turn. Also, please remove it from all pick lists. Thanks everyone for the support! It truly means a lot!

Dreams tell the secrets...

Autumn Graves has been psychic for as long as she can remember. She sees auras. She has premonitions. And she wasn’t alone.

Autumn’s mother was the same. She saw the same auras. Her dreams were also premonitions. But, she had one gift Autumn doesn’t. She saw ghosts. Everyone called her crazy and until recently, Autumn’s mother protected her. She helped her hide her gifts from others, that is, until she couldn’t live anymore.

After her mother’s suicide, Autumn’s father moves the family to a small Maine town to live with her mother’s sister and her family. It’s here that Autumn is introduced to her psychic grandmother and her cousin, Brandon, who knows all about her gifts.

When Autumn starts seeing blurry figures and having strange premonitions, she and Brandon begin to search for an answer and find themselves unraveling secrets that were to remain buried in this strange small town forever.

Completed at approx. 67k.
This is only the first 7 chapters out of 28.

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Evie J

wrote 18 days ago

AUTHOR'S NOTE (PLEASE READ BEFORE COMMENTING):
The book is done, but it's not all on here and it won't all be on here. I have added the first 7 chapters and that's all I'm uploading.

I think I fixed all of the tenses. If not, please point out where I messed up. :) I also think I've gotten the mistakes. If not, point them out.

Yes, I know a few of you don't like the 'I'm Autumn Graves and I'm psychic' part, however, more people like it than don't (including myself). I have explored different endings and I don't think they fit too well. So it's staying for now.

And yes, I know a lot of you think the minor characters are one-dimensional, but they're supposed to be. They're minor characters and this isn't their story. We don't know what happened throughout all the years leading up to now to make them act the way they do. Autumn doesn't spend time with them. She only knows how they act when they're around her. We don't know if they secretly miss their mother. Autumn's dad could have had a different reaction when he was alone. We're not in their heads. I can't write what I don't know. Autumn can't tell what she doesn't know. If they're brats and everything around Autumn, well that's what she's going to tell. Leave the rest up to your own imagination. That's the beauty of first-person.

And a third yes, Autumn isn't a normal 15 year old, so she's going to act differently than a normal 15 year old. She sounds younger intentionally. I molded her that way completely on purpose. Brandon as well.

I want this to be the best it can be, so please point out any errors that you see and any places you think could be better.

Thanks to all of you for reading and a special thank you to those who have picked this. It means the world to me and I can't thank you enough for the support!

Love you all,

Evie

P.S. PLEASE let me know if I haven't returned a read if we swapped. I feel horrible if I don't, so please let me know! Give me a day or two though.

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life-without-a-heartbeat

wrote 2 days ago

This was literally one of the best things i've read in a very long time! You have to tell me WHEN u get published because if u don't then the world does not know what good reading material is! I love the depth of Autumn and the beginning won't let you stop until you hit the end of the seventh chapter. I'm dissapointed that I can't read the entire thing it's incredible! Please return my read for a read swap and thank you so much!

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ScarletDraven10712

wrote 4 days ago

Man...first off, what a way to begin the story. And it stays captivating like that all the way through what i've been able to read so far!! you attention to detail is brilliant, and makes everything so visiably clear!! it's one of my favorite stories so far from Inkpop, and I cant wait to read on and find out everything!! so now the question is..when are you getting published missy?

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Jayla Stone

wrote 4 days ago

Normally I don't read things about ghosts, but I you reeled me in from page one. I love how the characters are molded; whether some are lovable or not is another story entirely xD One thing that really struck me was the fact that I could literally feel Autumn's pain; when her mother's funeral came around I was in tears. I may not know how exactly it feels to lose a mother, (nor do I want to experience that pain just yet), but with your descriptions and Autumn's feelings I think I may.
I can't wait to read more; hopefully I will buy your book soon and read on! I also love Brandon by the way; he's pwnsome xD Great job and I can't wait to read more from you!

(Also if you could read and comment on any one of my own stories that would be great =) )

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Jems12

wrote 6 days ago

I got all the way to the middle of chapter 5 and...Wow. Thats all i can say. You're writing is amazing. I would add it to picks, but. . Lol. Unfortunately, i dont have any advice for it...Its perfect. ;)

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ScarlettSk3tch

wrote 9 days ago

So, you told me to read yours and I'm going to, like I said! Oh and I uploaded a book, if you wnat you can check it, it'll be highly appriciated.
So...
OMG, I'm in love. Thts all I can say, it's so addiciting, seriosuly! Your discriptions about the characters, the background and everything is so good and ctaches the readers attention, you need to continue doing tht. Another thing, your spelling and garmmers are good, -since mine are always bad-I say your on the right track! It deserves to be starred and first, I hope you got picked to be published, cause it's goooooddd!!! Keep on working and check mine out, and you're an awesome writer for a young person. I'm going to continue reading it for sure!

XOXOX

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Crazy BlueRose

wrote 9 days ago

Wow, this is an amazing story. I'm glad it's a top pick and can't wait until it comes out in stores so i can read the whole thing. I did figure at the beginning of the story the Autumn would end up seeing ghost like her mother. I also think that Brandon sees auras as well and Autumn will later find out about it. It's just a guess. I do believe that a few years after this book is out that it will become a movie and i will diffently go see it. Great Job and hope to read the full story soon!

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Soundly_Awake

wrote 9 days ago

I need to tell you that reading this first chapter made me cry. I don't know why. I think I feel all too connected with the grief Autumn feels, the guilt. Your writing is just bursting with emotion, and the imagery you spin in amazing. If you can make me cry, feel, you are truly gifted. :)
Love the story. Great job!

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Just A Pinch Of PixieDust

wrote 10 days ago

I love this!!!! DEFINITELY going in my pics :)

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Debasree Ghosh

wrote 10 days ago

ok i finished your story and realized that I didnt't comment at the end.
anywayss, i totally loved it! you must tell us as soon as you get it published! I want to hear the whole story!!

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Taytay("=

wrote 10 days ago

I would so buy this book. I love how you describe the members of this family. Its Amazing.

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itsarah

wrote 11 days ago

I just read the first chapter and I love this story already! It seems original, which is really rare at this point in time, and your voice is fresh and unique. The only real comment I have for you up to this point is that you might want to tone down the drama in the mother's suicide note, as it seems pretty stiff and a little bit dramatic, unless that's what you're going for. Otherwise, great job and I'm reading the rest ASAP!

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Fantasy_Wolf

wrote 11 days ago

I read the first chapter, and I am hooked. I can't wait to keep reading once I have more time (aka when midterms are over and I am on spring break). Amazing job!

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leakycauldron06

wrote 11 days ago

i'll definitely add this to my pick list. i remember countless nights staying up with my sister as she cut herself, and hoping she wouldnt die. this isnt cliche as most, i hope you have a real meaning behind it, i believe you do.

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Summer Morris

wrote 11 days ago

I read the first few chapters, and I must say, you did an amazing job. The emotions were put in so well, it was so great. Like when her mother kills herself, that was amazing writing. I could practically see her sighing when she took the last slit, and fell to her death. I could feel the emotions Autumn felt. It really was great writing, and I will definitely read the last few chapter when I get the chance.
Keep up the great writing!
-Summer

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Bacon_in_the_USA

wrote 11 days ago

This book is really good. I love how much feeling you put into Autums words (if that justmade any sense). But it pulled me in since the first chapter and I'm so putting this as one of my picks.

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polarbearprincess4991

wrote 12 days ago

You very clearly know what you're doing here. I love your characters and your imagery you use. I'm adding this to my picks! I didn't actually see any grammatical errors in what I read. I like your use of flat characters- I know exactly what you mean by not knowing how they think. However, I do not like the 'I'm Autumn Graves and..." It doesn't fit with the rest of the story. Sometimes, saying that kind of thing fits in, but not here. We already know her name is Autumn, and we already know she's psychic. Saying that, I understand that it's hard to lead into the following explanation- which you do need- without saying something like that. My suggestion is to just say 'I'm psychic' and to drop the 'I'm Autumn Graves' part. It will fit and it will fit the rest of the story.

Like always, you can throw all of this out the window if you want to, but I hope I helped! Cheers! -L-

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Matthew

wrote 12 days ago

I must say, the imagery is almost perfect. You give all the emotions off so well. I look forward to seeing more of this. It is simply amazing.

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Lycanthrope

wrote 12 days ago

Awesome so far. I love the descriptions of the people and auras.

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madabby98

wrote 12 days ago

Are you going to publish this book? I might be able to get it published, but my cousin Melody said not to ask for a book to get published again. She said it gets them all worked up for nothing because Trapped probably isn't going to get published, either. I NEED to read the rest of this book! It's killing me!

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Sourichan

wrote 12 days ago

This story just sucked me in and I found myself instantly devouring it. When you get it published (and I know you will) let me know so I can read the rest of it! I was expecting this story to be a bit cliche because you were writing about a physic, but you completely surprised me with your unique story and characters. Well done!

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madabby98

wrote 12 days ago

I just found that you missed a period on the fourth chapter after "The staircase was immediately to the right and down the hall".

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MaryToniHasMeaning

wrote 12 days ago

Sorry for the late reply.
Anyways, I like your book and am adding it to my watch list. (:

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Dori Fox

wrote 12 days ago

Evie, glad I got to read a few more chapters on here.

I've enjoyed your writing since I came across your other book and I know I will keep reading your work even if you do not get published (but I know you will!)

Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more and more of your work!

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turquoise raven

wrote 12 days ago

I read the first chapter. Brilliant so far. The psychic part is both intriguing yet creepy at the same time. :)

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Teeje651

wrote 12 days ago

I love it! The first chapter totally grabbed at me and I'm so hooked. Sucks that the whole thing wont be up here, but you did an amazing job from I have read and I'm sure the rest of the book is just as good as these first chapters! Good luck with it!

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Beautiful and Strange

wrote 12 days ago

I feel like I shouldn't bother commenting. You clearly know what you're doing; it's like reading an already published book. The plot is fantastic, the characters are perfectly set to contrast each other (great use of flat characters), the whole thing is completely believable, and your writing style is addicting. Everything is well balanced: action to description to dialogue and emotion to humor to tragedy to mystery. There were no true grammar or spelling mistakes, although there were a few awkward tense uses in the first 2 chapters or so when you were explaining the characters. I'm sure you realize by now that you have the talent to back up all of the hard work you've put into this book. Absolutely wonderful.

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bigdreamer1415

wrote 12 days ago

After reading the first chapter, im kind of freaked out, no offense. the part where Autumn's mother kills herself is explained very descriptively that i actually feel like im Autumn watching my mother do this. kudos to u and congrats on being number one =)

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kamara713

wrote 12 days ago

Sounds like you have a great story line, I'm intrigued. Ok... you got me! I'll be back to find out about Autumn and all the secrets she digs up! :)

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Ginger Bee

wrote 12 days ago

very intriguing

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Rudewords

wrote 12 days ago

i like it :) you've got an interesting voice

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K. M. Walton

wrote 12 days ago

Strong opening and I like Autumn already. I also like your pacing and paragraph variety - very easy to read. Your first line is well done as well.

I'd really like to hear your feedback on my writing too!

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Gabriela V

wrote 12 days ago

aww i should have read this sooner, i love it. it made me feel something for little Autumn and my friend sees auras so this slighty hits home :) you have a great flow here. nothing -that ive found atlest- meshes badly and it makes me feel like im watching from behind the yellow lines or by the funeral. its great! -gaby v

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sweethang311

wrote 12 days ago

You are a very good writer. This is an amazing story and I would pay money to buy this book! You do an amazing job of capturing Autumns emotions, and the details, the plot, they're all just amazing. Keep up the good work and congrats in being #1!

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Samantha

wrote 13 days ago

Well I just read the rest of chapter seven, finally. And I'm wondering what she saw. If her mom saw ghosts that looked almost completely human.. Maybe it was a ghost. Just different. Could have been Margaret's spirit. Maybe that's a big part in the story. Well I'd definitely keep reading.

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Megan O'Donnell

wrote 13 days ago

This is very well written... from your words I really hate her family. Her dad is an idiot and I want to punch her sisters in the face. Amazing job. I just got done with page 3. I'll comment more later.

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BethanyAnn

wrote 13 days ago

Evie, this book is really, really good. I've only read the first chapter, and it's already going on my Picks. Fabulous job. However, I did notice on little spot where you change from present to past tense. When you say, "I'm Autumn Graves and I'm psychic." it starts out in present tense and then moves to past tense. But other than that this book is wonderful :)

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Sophie Holt

wrote 13 days ago

you are an awesome writer, evie!!! absolutely brilliant!!! XD

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christian

wrote 13 days ago

you're a very good writer... i love your work. it was simply amazing. though i've read up to chapter 1 only, i'm already impressed. no wonder you've made it to the top!
don't worry, i'll continue reading your story if i get enough time...

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jessisay

wrote 13 days ago

Hey Evie J, if you're not too busy and have time, could you comment on any of my writing, especially my two books: "Miranda's Nightmare" and "Razor Burn"? I'd really appreciate any input you could give me. Your comments would mean lot!

Thank you,
Jessi

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Shaneal Mina

wrote 13 days ago

I love this! I think this is really good! I love the name Autumn! Well sorry I can't comment more, but I have to go! So I'm going to read more though! xD Love it!
-Shaneal

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justme960

wrote 13 days ago

Is the book on sale now? Like, can I go downtown and buy it out of a bookstore like Borders?

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writersally

wrote 14 days ago

Evie, your opening was wonderful. You bring us directly into her head, her eyes, and her heart. Nicely done. I've only been able to read half of the first chapter, but I plan on returning later. Good Luck this month.

I'm new to this but I just upload one of my short stories. Love it if you'd read it. :)

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Debasree Ghosh

wrote 14 days ago

damn girl this is awesome
i am like....completely speechless. i've only gotten through 4 chapters so far and im gonna keep reading but i just had to stop and tell you how wonderful i think it is. You sooooo deserve to be number one and I cannot wait until it is published so i can buy a copy. I love your characters, but especially Autumn, i can relate to her so well. She is a great girl.
ok, im gonna keep reading now.
~Debbie

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Debasree Ghosh

wrote 14 days ago

damn girl this is awesome
i am like....completely speechless. i've only gotten through 4 chapters so far and im gonna keep reading but i just had to stop and tell you how wonderful i think it is. You sooooo deserve to be number one and I cannot wait until it is published so i can buy a copy. I love your characters, but especially Autumn, i can relate to her so well. She is a great girl.
ok, im gonna keep reading now.
~Debbie

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TheCasualty

wrote 14 days ago

Having only read the first few paragraphs, i must say i am soo into this book. It has completely pulled me in, and i know i will be reading it throughout the night. There will be more comments to come as i swim my way through each chapter! Amazing job!

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jessi870

wrote 15 days ago

hey, sorry it took me so long to get to this, I've been very busy lately.
It was really good. I could really feel what Autumn was feeling. The only criticism I have is;

ipod should be iPod.( I know it's not that important, it was just bothering me)
I don't know what's in your other chapters, maybe you have some twists, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. To be honest, the only reason I kept reading it was because I said I would. It just needs some hints that something is going to happen. One sentence can keep someone reading.

Other than that I thought it was great! Autumn is relate able( except for the physic part). And I really like how close she is with her brother and Brandon.
~Jessi

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jessi870

wrote 15 days ago

hey, sorry it took me so long to get to this, I've been very busy lately.
It was really good. I could really feel what Autumn was feeling. The only criticism I have is;

ipod should be iPod.( I know it's not that important, it was just bothering me)
I don't know what's in your other chapters, maybe you have some twists, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. To be honest, the only reason I kept reading it was because I said I would. It just needs some hints that something is going to happen. One sentence can keep someone reading.

Other than that I thought it was great! Autumn is relate able( except for the physic part). And I really like how close she is with her brother and Brandon.
~Jessi

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Alisa Vaylatte

wrote 15 days ago

No you should keep the "I'm Autumn Graves" part, I liked it too. Beautiful, moving, and believable . . .great Job!

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Rachael Allen

wrote 15 days ago

Hey! Finally back with more detailed comments, and sorry it took so long!!!

Okay, I have read four sentences and already I have chills.
The writing is incredibly moving, vivid. I like how you use repetition (ex. "I could have saved her if...").
"I tortured myself every second of everyday" I think "every day" is correct here.
A paragraph towards the end is a little big/dense.
I like the ending to chapter one.

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Tearsxxinmyxxeyes

wrote 15 days ago

I really like this book. i love the whole premonition and aura ability. Autumn seems like a great character so far. I have only read chapter one so far, but I'm trying to read more each day!!!!!

Adding to my pick lists!!

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