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Book Jacket

Rank 3851 (-66)

Word Count

1534

Date submitted

01.26.2010

Date Updated

01.26.2010

Wizards of the West

by Adam

ShortStory: Adventure, Science Fiction/Fantasy

Cowboy wizards do battle.

A cowboy wizard takes revenge on the one who betrayed him.

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C. D. Verhoff

wrote 184 days ago

I saw you on the forum looking for readers. Here I am in hope of getting a return read. Men in dusters with swords--hubba hubba. Only two nits and one really isn't a nit about your story, just a general complaint about flash fiction, and how it often, IMO, leaves TOO much for the imagination. I wanted to know how Job betrayed Cain. The other nit has to do with the narrator. At first I thought he was one of the townsfolk because he described Cain's entrance into town, "he seemed to emerge from the sun", which implies the narrator of the story was standing IN town when Cain arrived. Then the narrator called the people in town stupid, so in my mind that would make the narrator an out-of-towner. Still, a cool story. I love cowboys and knights. All rolled into one--even better! This is going on my picks.

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Shiraz

wrote 184 days ago

A very cool merger of the old west with swords and sorcery. The writing was great. I didn't spot any errors. The story was cliche, but the twists made it entertaining. Good job.

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amb0531

wrote 184 days ago

This is really good!! I like it a lot :) You are a fantastic writer!

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