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Book Jacket

Rank 3847 (-50)

Word Count

400

Date submitted

01.30.2010

Date Updated

01.30.2010

Under the Sea

by Katrina Santillan

ShortStory: , Adventure, General Fiction

Let's not forget to marvel at the wonders of the sea

I wanted to see how nature worked its way and enjoy the methods of the underwater animals.

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Shiraz

wrote 112 days ago

This was a nice little, not only of the sights under the sea, but of a bit of personal growth. I felt complete despite its short length. Good work. :-)

typos:
ahead [o]f us
we went f[a]rther
nature wor[k]ed
[I] grew less patient
the fir[s]t one I saw

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Jackie MArie

wrote 112 days ago

Very good! I love snorkling and the ocean, so this really appeals to me. I love the description in it and the imagery is pretty good too. There were only like 3 spelling errors in the whole thing, so there isn't much on the spelling front. Nice job!
~Jack

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Nabila

wrote 144 days ago

wow..nice. lil spelling error here nd there but otherwise, beautiful! love the descriptions.

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xXYuki_SamaXx

wrote 162 days ago

I liked this a lot. It was well written... I think there were like two spelling errors that come when typing things up.
Both of them are in the 2nd paragraph. 'group ahead f us' and the other one was, 'how nature worjed its way'.
Anyway, I still loved this!

-Emily~ ^-^

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DesiGirl180

wrote 166 days ago

Beautiful. Simply beautiful. Nice imagery, too.

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finding-forever.

wrote 173 days ago

Your writing style is so great - simple but beautiful at the same time. Other than a few minor mistakes, I love this story. It's original and elegantly written and just so, so incredible. Great job on writing this, and keep up the nice work! :)

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Charles Pendelton

wrote 173 days ago

I can tell you are doing this as a hobby, since you have elected not to take the advice of others who have already critiqued
your work. If I am wrong, drop me a note and I will fix everything for you. Aside from that, I love what you have written!
I think your style is unique and inviting. It implores the reader to continue reading and I like that!!!

If you like romance and adventure you should read my novel, the embryo man, but be forewarned, the book will break you.
It will destroy the heart of anyone who reads it. it is the curse of the embryo man. If you decide to read the book, then I
will apologize to you now, for I know what the end result will bring. Just know it was not intentional. . .

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MissMaddyMarie

wrote 174 days ago

Aw, that was kinda cute! A lot of grammatical errors, but could be really good if you fixed it up.

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Rebecca Ryals Russell

wrote 179 days ago

I liked the way she worked through her fear and felt better at the end. There are a ton of misspellings/typos. You also need to do a lot of editing; clean up sentences and grammar. When the mechanics are sloppy it affects how the reader feels about the story overall. The cleaner the grammar and spelling the more your story can shine. (Like the diamonds on the fish that swam by.)

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ScarletDraven10712

wrote 180 days ago

Very visual. I enjoyed the detail and it reminded me of my first time to the beach. *smiles* it was well written.

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elyse

wrote 180 days ago

this story is short and sweet. i like that. its great the way she faced her fear and ended up victorious in the end.

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Rasheeda S Boo

wrote 181 days ago

This is nice story. I like how the character overcame her fear and enjoyed herself in the water. Because It's all about taking chances! My favorite part was when you described the first fish she saw. Great descriptive writing. LOL

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