inkpop: The Importance of Getting Revenge - She wants revenge. He wants the hot cheerleader. Pretending to date each other could give them both what they want. Then again, maybe not...

HarperCollins

wrote

What a fun manuscript! Getting revenge on an ex by pretending to date someone new is a time-honored subject in teen books and movies, but you put a nicely fresh spin on it. Lexi’s voice is smart and fun, and I especially loved her funny, tingly-lipped reaction to her first “practice” kiss with Jase! Your dialogue, particularly the conversations between best friends Lexi and Trish, is so much fun to read—and so believable! (In the chapter called, “Side Effects May Include Tingling”—amazing chapter title, by the way!—there’s a conversation that they have about Zach’s upcoming party that made me laugh out loud more than once.) Even the secondary characters are fun—Amber Lynne Rose is a quintessential teen “mean girl” villainess, both in her actions and in her very name, and Haley, with her crush on Lexi’s brother Aaron, is so adorable and sweet that I found myself really looking forward to her scenes. And you’ve created a really satisfying ending that will leave readers cheering—and swooning, too.
Right now, for the YA romance genre, this particular manuscript feels a little long to me. Clocking in at about 400 double-spaced manuscript pages, this would easily be an over-500 page book, and at times it does feel like it. While I do think the dialogue sparkles and is one of your strengths, there IS a lot of it, and at times conversations feel like they go on for a little bit too long—what could take six or seven exchanged sentences to get across sometimes instead takes fifteen or sixteen. Keep in mind that you don’t have to include EVERY sentence of two characters’ interaction—you just want to include enough to get across the flavor of their voices, and your main point, while still keeping the action moving at a brisk pace. So I would definitely recommend taking a closer look at your dialogue sections throughout to see where scenes might be tweaked or tightened.
Likewise, I’d recommend tightening up the plot in general, to get the action off to a quicker start—right now, the real story doesn’t start until around page 65 or 70. To pull your readers in as fully and immediately as possible, you want to get to the big moment when Lexi and Jase hatch their plan to make Jeffrey and Kylie jealous much sooner.
Along those same lines of pulling readers in, while the first four or so pages of the manuscript have some really great laugh-out-loud zingers and set up the basic conflict, they essentially consist of Lexi telling the reader what has happened up until this point; it’s a lot of background information on plot and characters to digest. You would pull your readers in more effectively if you were to really show them what is happening rather than simply having Lexi tell them after the fact. Have you considered recasting this opening as a more active scene? One piece of advice that editors often give the authors they work with is to “start the story on the day that everything changes.” What if you were to open the story on the day of Lexi and Jeffrey’s breakup? This would allow readers to first meet Lexi when she is still dating Jeffrey—when she is happy, and when she thinks things are going well in their relationship—and will then give them the chance to experience the breakup with her rather than just hearing about it after the fact. Both of these things would, I think, make Lexi more immediately sympathetic to readers and also get the story off to a faster, more active start.
All in all, THE IMPORTANCE OF GETTING REVENGE is a fun read with a lot of promise. Thanks for giving us the chance to read Lexi’s story, and best of luck as you continue to work on the manuscript!

Leah Hunnter

wrote 129 days ago

Hold on one minute while I try to gather words to describe how amazing this is. :)
I usually hate anything near high school drama-ish, but I saw this at number one, and thought, "Hey, it must be there for a reason." You know what? I was right. It deserves #1.

Okay, I don't know where to start, so I have to say first that your writing style is amazing. So captivating--it puled me in from the first chapter, which not lot of books can do. Everything always flows so beautifly, and the mental picture you paint is so detailed; perfect.

Second, the plot. I must say HOLY hell if any teen dramas are like this, I am giving up fiction for life. I like how she didn't fall for him right away--I hate when characters rush into a relationship. I could genuinely feel Jase and Lexi's connection throughout the whole thing, and to be honest, I teared up when Lexi caught Jase and Kylie. Amazing plot twist; in my eyes, if a book can't make you angry or close to tears, it's not a good book. And yours is... freaking amazing-tastic. Yeah, it's so good I had to make up a new word for it. I like how, for a good portion of it, we think she's trying to get back with Jeffery, just like she does (Even if we're rooting for Jase) and I think all of us celebrated when she figured out that it wasn't him she wanted. I absolutely loved how you kept us on edge for that long of a time--it keeps us reading.

Third, your characters. God, your characters... I feel like i've known them forever! I find myself feeling the same waty Lexi is feeling, and like I said before, the connection... Wow. I especially love how Lexi and Trish's friendship is a bit rocky--I hate how in books, friendships are these super amzing things hat can't be broken for more then five minutes withou them turning into a sob "OMG I'm sorry!" Fest. I like how Lexi and Trish made up, but they're still on thin ice--it keeps us on edge.

I'm starting to ramble. Just to sum it up, I love every single aspect of this story beyond what words can comprehend.
Good job and please post more soon! We need to know what happens!

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Britt Marlow

wrote 127 days ago

I am actually depressed. How on earth is this not published?!?! This is better than if not all of the published novels I've read, then at least half! You are soooooo talented! I want to steal your gift and stash it in my brain. It's at times liek these when aspiring authors actually become overly self-conscious! So, to wrap it all up... I LOVEEEE! I truly hope Harper Collins publishes this, because I will definately buy it ;)

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Autumn

wrote 126 days ago

Are you freaking serious?! This is like one of the best books I have read all year!!!!!!!! I am honestly not kidding. You had me on the edge of my seat from the first paragraph to the last. You have an obvious talent for writing!!!! You're description scense are remarkable, your dialogue, absolutely stunning, character emotions, brilliant. This book is utterly amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can see now, why it is ranked number 1, and rightfully so! Brilliance my friend, brilliance!!!!!

Autumn

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IsisRose

wrote 125 days ago

OMIGOSH! This is so ridiculously awsome, and when I say ridiculous, I mean in a good way. I mean, I seriously couldn't stop reading it. You would actually have to attack to get me away from the computer. I know everyone's said this, but, honestly, publish it. It you can't get a publisher (which would be the stupidest thing in the world) then self-publish, because I'm telling you this book has "loads of dough" written all over it. PPPPLLLLLEEEAAAASSSSSEEE post the rest of the chapters, your causing me pain. I have a feeling that Jase is going to walk into the room, and beat Zach senseless. Which would be cool, I guess. Love your work, and I'm wondering if you got these ideas from your personal experiences? Do tell.
Love ya girl,
IsisRose

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adhdxgoogle427

wrote 125 days ago

I love you, you love me and i know you have this book finished cuz i am a crazing stalker fan girl when it comes to your amazing beautiful magical intelligent humorous gratifying and TOTALLY GOOGLE BOOK. Google isn't even a descriptive word but im throwing it in there because you deserve to have a new adjective word to describe your awesomeness. So anyways yeah, ik tht you've finished it awhile ago and are trying to get it published and props for having that drive and guts and spirit to do tht, but seriously for the last i think 2 month i have been faithfully checking back here waiting patiently for the next installment because i thought you were writing, and i know it takes time. BUT then i figured out its finished. FINISHEd and you're just teasing me....thanks a lot.

JK

no i get it you want to keep us guessing and keep us interested. BTW you have. you've got me completely ensnared, like a alice in the rabbit hole. Oy vey....Also i am not ashamed to say that when i figured out it was finished i searched all ur website for it and saw tht someone tried to plagiarize it. I was thinking whoever had the audacity to that is completely spineless and has no sense of morals and can clearly not understand writing. Because what you created is so unique and cool that writers can admire and aspire to be like. then for someone to just steal it, ugh they have no sense of right. But for you to push through that...ummmm AAAAAAaWWWWWEEeeSSSSSooooMMMmmEEE.

Ok so i love you, thts been established. I wish i can be as good a writer as you are and maybe you're kinda creeped out by this but i just wanna say.....You're great and one day i know i'll find your name on bookshelves everywhere.

P.S. The story is so great, you create this ultimate tension and chemistry that you have to love. plus the story is even cooler cuz you have all these other love stories in the side next to Lexi's, like Aaron's and Trish's. Thats just another way to showcase your ability to have different undertones in the story without it overtaking the main one. I also love the scene when jase talks to lexi while dancing at the restaurant. he starts saying how everyone thinks they're childhood sweethearts which i hope they do become. I just in general love all your characters even kylie (ewwww) because of the way you created them to be so real....as if they could be people at the schools we attend. That's really cool because alot of realistic fiction can't capture that essence.

Ummmmmmmm if i was a publisher i'd totally publish you and even if i wasn't i'd do free publicity for you. Or if you ask i'll go boycott oprah. JK (she scares me too much) :)

All in all i just wanna say Cookie monster will now need to be named Book monster cuz this story is just to sweet to give up. Yes i just threw in that nerdy/corny pick up line-esque thing in there. But anyways its true.

Best of luck and i totally would bid for te book on ebay but i'm pretty sure i'd have to ask for my parents permission and they'd be 'is this what you spend all your time doing instead of having a reall life?'

And of course i'd say 'yes'

but for now im gonna try to still keep up the persona that i don't hover around the computer waiting for your update cuz its the best part of my day. no seriously when i get home from school and realize you put up a new chapter i know its what i looked forward to all day :)

So cuz this is getting really long,
for the person who puts a smile on my face and probably many others too
good luck
im always gonna be your fangirl
<3 Annie

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twilight_fan190

wrote 1 day ago

I don't know how to comment on this to be honest, I guess all I can think to say is that it is absolutly AMAZING! Wait I know now.
I loved it, I loved everything about it. From the charaters to the plot to the fact that it was one of the most realistic books I have read. All the characters and their reactions and emotions to all the situations are completly belivable and speaking of the situations, they were also realistic and hilarious. I think you are an amazing author and I don't really have anything to suggest to make the book better so I'm gonna stop writting now but again AMAZING!

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BrokenDescriptions

wrote 8 days ago

Oh my GOSH! Wow. Great story. Please be sure to keep me updated on any changes. :)
Add more soon!!!

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EyesOfADream

wrote 8 days ago

Wow! What an AMAZING story! I absolutely fell in love with it - and i couldn't stop reading!
You're so talented!
Your characters were so relatable! And I fell in love with Jase as the story progressed!
It was nice for her to finally realise, that she'd fallen in love with Jase - instead of lying to her true feelings!
Written in such a realistic way - and I loved reading it! Amazing job!

EyesOfADream

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FreshPress

wrote 10 days ago

Very nice conclusion and tie-up. I truly enjoyed reading this book - I spent nearly the whole day on this. I hope you continue to writing!

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FreshPress

wrote 11 days ago

I adore your characters! Kylie seems like a dear, Jeffrey seems amazingly hot, Trish - I wish she was my BFF, and I wish Haley was my little sister :) As for Lexi, I would stab her eyes out because Jeffrey is totally mine.

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Dimli

wrote 11 days ago

This was great! I absolutely loved it! From the very beginning I was intrigued by this and even when I had to go be a human, (get off the computer and eat, sleep, socialize, etc.) I was only thinking about this story (and freakin' hot it was outside). Anyways, I loved it, especially how it was just dripping with humor, and I'm glad to have spent some of my most not-really-valuable time to read it. Great job, you deserve it!

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xxlilgr3yxx

wrote 14 days ago

I just finished last night- And all I can say is- WOW.
It was seriously addictive, Lexi was honestly the most fun voice I think I've ever read.
Then, I love the cheesey romance that comes with the story,
Lexi wants revenge, Jase helps her by pretending to date her, they fall in love, after making it very clear that they wouldn't.
It's actually very nice(:
Nice job, you're an amazing author, and never ever ever give up(:

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asianinvasion0530

wrote 21 days ago

Wow this is seriously one of the best stories I've read on the internet. The characters are well fleshed out and I LOVE the dialogue especially. Although the whole pretending-to-date-then-falling-in-love plotline has been done many times before, you put your own dramatic twists and made it so that people would still be interested to read this despite already knowing how the story's going to end. Your writing's absolutely brilliant and I actually would expect to see this on the YA shelves in bookstores. Really. I don't think I've ever said that to anyone either. Anyways, I think you're a talented writer and I hope you don't lose hope of being published because I seriously think you're close to it. =]

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The Hippie

wrote 31 days ago

Not that my opinion matters when it comes to HarperCollins but I really wouldn't change a thing about your book. I like how you started it and I loved the dialogue!

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Hayy_Jayy_223

wrote 32 days ago

I just read it ALLLLLLL over again. And, by the way, i am SO not a patient person, so i am so totally dying right now. THIS NEEDS PUBLISHED. RIGHT. NOW.

-Hayy

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Laurathewriter:)

wrote 33 days ago

wow! I really liked this story, it's actually the first one I've read on here. Sometimes it was bordering closely on predictable but you always managed to shake it up and keep it original anyway. I like the dialogue especially, you have a real talent for tone in your conversations, and that makes for a very enjoyable read. Again, this story is fantastically writen and I hope it does someday get published

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Jasper

wrote 34 days ago

OMG, In LOVEE with this story.
I really thought the main character was funny, and relatable and i loved jase, talk about your ideal guy!

Anyway i read the WHOLE story! And i can NOT get enough of it!

Well done! :)

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Carolina Alcantara(:

wrote 35 days ago

Ah, this never gets old =)

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Breezy16

wrote 37 days ago

I have read alot of teen breakup dramas. This is the first one that left me wanting more. I haven't read a book tis good in a very long time. I was riveted from the first page to the last. There isn't one scene that I felt was written badly in the entire book. This is very rare for me. Usually I see a typo or anything slightly off and I am trying to change it in my mind. That didn't happen once in this book. There isn't really anything wrong that I could se, but if I was forced to give a bit of criticism, it would have to be that the book takes a bit long to really start. The beginning is interesting, sure, but it gets a little boring after 40 pages of her life not really changing dramatically. Other than that, this book is one of the best I have read in several years, including published books. Great Job!!!

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going-nuts;)

wrote 39 days ago

i love the end! it's soo cute. and i think those couples....in my mind at least :P....are so cute together! and yet it's sad at the same time! this is great!

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tav94

wrote 44 days ago

Jase is bugggging me!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hayy_Jayy_223

wrote 48 days ago

OKay, I just found this, and WOW. This is amazing. I love a book that brings out the emotions in me, and thats exactly what The Importance of Getting Revenge did to me. At times I wanted to cry, and sometimes I wanted to punch someone in the face. Overall, I totally understand why this was #1. I love, love, love it!!!!!!!

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Hayy_Jayy_223

wrote 48 days ago

OKay, I just found this, and WOW. This is amazing. I love a book that brings out the emotions in me, and thats exactly what The Importance of Getting Revenge did to me. At times I wanted to cry, and sometimes I wanted to punch someone in the face. Overall, I totally understand why this was #1. I love, love, love it!!!!!!!

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Wicked Lina

wrote 50 days ago

I saw this on worthyofpublishing.com a week or two ago, but was severely disappointed when only three chapters were put up. Then, by a stroke of luck, I was browsing this site, and stumbled on this. I was so excited! I literally sat and read this for the pst day and a half. The only things that could keep me away were sleep [and I went to sleep thinking about Jase], meals, and school. [No, not even the bathroom could keep me away, because I brought my laptop into the bathroom with me.] I don't usually read this genre, but this was so good! I got so emotional reading this; I laughed out loud more than once and cried when Lexi cried.
I think the only problem with this was it lacked a period in one place. And I also noticed an increased use of the word 'endearing' in the later chapters. But I still love this!
I really wish you would get this published because I would buy two copies without hesitation. [One to read over and over again, and the other because I love the cover you've made!]
All in all, I simply loved this, and I think I consider it one of my favorite 'books'.

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Ami_Phantom_Pen

wrote 51 days ago

I loved this! It's going on my picks on Saturday when I have a spot open.
It will take too long to comment on everything, so I'm just gonna go with what HarperCollins wrote. On a scale of one to ten I'd give you a nine.
In one sentence; it is AWESOME, but may be a bit slow to get going.

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Lynzee

wrote 56 days ago

This book has to get published. It deserves to be published. Like some others have said this book is even better than a lot of ones that *are*. If this book ever gets to stores I will most definitely buy it. Something with this good a quality deserves to be paid for, it's too good to be only available online. Please just consider getting this published.

Good Luck and Best Wishes,

-Lindsay K.-

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jakihawkeye

wrote 57 days ago

I can't even start to explain how amazing this story is! I absolutely LOVE it! :)

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HaleyBeezy

wrote 57 days ago

Honestly, no other book has left me with such a lasting impression as yours. I'm sure every girl is going to be waiting for their own personal Jase just to fall into their laps because of what you have written here. And I thank you for that. Some people say that guys in books just get our hopes up and then real boys will only let us down, but I know boys like Jase are out there, and your book gave me hope that I'll find him.

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storyteller_princess

wrote 58 days ago

Can I just say WOW? I loved this story. I honestly couldn't quit reading. From the moment I started, it completely sucked me in. I love how the "life forcing sucking demon" thing comes back in at the end. Your characters were so believable and I want a Jase Holloway. You inspire me and you're amazing.

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HeadinTheClouds99

wrote 59 days ago

HOLY CRAP it was AMAZING!!!!! lol

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Unsolved Problems

wrote 60 days ago

I love this!!!!! It is by far my favorite book on inkpop!!! (and i've read atleast 300) I love your characters and the way you describe them.

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musicxlove

wrote 64 days ago

This is my 2nd time reading this story again and I can't help but notice that some of the chapters are cut off.
Is it Inkpop, or me?

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im ava hear me rawr

wrote 66 days ago

That's it. Only 35 chapters of greatness? Hm, I say you make a Book II, because you can't just leave us hanging on the whole Jase leaves to college thing. Please! You need to keep writing with this story o.O

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im ava hear me rawr

wrote 66 days ago

That's it. Only 35 chapters of greatness? Hm, I say you make a Book II, because you can't just leave us hanging on the whole Jase leaves to college thing. Please! You need tokeep writing with this story o.O

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Ivana

wrote 66 days ago

I just read the first chapter of this project, and wow, I LOVE your writing style! I like that you used emotive adjectives that make the main character come to life. It's an amazingly lively text. This is an amazing piece. I look forward to reading until the end of it!

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Mad Ink

wrote 76 days ago

Oh my gosh, this was hilarious to read. I've only read the first chapter, but it seems like a lovely story. I can't wait for it to be published. I'll buy it and read the whole thing then. :)

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Chopsking

wrote 79 days ago

I just finished the last chapter! It was perfect the way Trish and Eric got together! Amber Lynne Rose sounds horrible!

Anna x

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xxLOVE_is_MAGICxx

wrote 80 days ago

U FINALLY FINISHED!!!!!!! IM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO HAPPY!!!!!! I KNEW THAT JASE WOULD END UP LIKING LEXI!~ I KNEWWWWW IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

don't get me wrong i'm happy to finally get to see the ending, but im sad that there's no more waiting to see what happens in this story. no more gasps or giggles when i read this. its just so sad. but i don't expect u to make a sequal, cuz this story is what i call "unsequalable" theres no possible way that you can make a sequal that can top this. there's no possible way to make a sequal at all without it sucking. everything that needed to happen happened. if you made a sequal about when Jase leaves to go to college it would be really annoying and boring. so it was great reading, great enjoying, and over all a great book. thx for some of the most enjoyable reading in my life.

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libredesprit

wrote 80 days ago

ahh just finished it!! write a sequel, k girl?

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harpsandhippies

wrote 81 days ago

I can't remember if I commented on this already, but if I did then I don't really mind. It's just sooooo good. Jase made MY heart race. I thought Jeffrey was the biggest jerk. When Zach started paying attention to Lexi, I thought, "Oh no, what is he up to???" I was getting really worried. But it turned out that it was part of this little scheme Eric had came up with. I loved Trish. She was quite a character(: Although, I wouldv'e liked to have heard how the how the thing with Aaron and Haley turned out. I thought she was sweet. I loved it and I hope to see it in the stores sometime in the future(:

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bluebubble

wrote 84 days ago

my friends have been going on about this story for like ages so i thought i'd better read it.... that was a great choice! this story is amazing!! everyones like going nuts over your work! you explain things so well; not to much, not to little. im not much of a reader unless i have an AWSOME book (in other words my standards for a books is like very high) After I read the first chapter i was hooked! ...only 35+ chapters to read. lol =p Your plot is definitly something that EVERYONE can relate to. This is deffinitly a book worth publishing. I cant wait to read on!(btw are you like a proffesional auther??) Bye xx

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Caitlan Zufelt

wrote 85 days ago

wow, this is awesome, and you should get it published....like, seriously!

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maddylee17

wrote 85 days ago

cuuuuuuuuutttttttttttteeeeeeeeeee :D
i read this in one day.

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epcelia

wrote 85 days ago

wow. wow. wow. wow. amazingg much?? theres really no words really but inspiring, and beautiful. keep up the good work, you can really go places.-

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Anjali

wrote 86 days ago

I remembered starting this on FictionPress, so I thought I'd check out what you've done with it. :)
I'm really impressed with this! Nice job on keeping the readers wanting more. I love your style of writing, and your characters were very well-developed. This definitely deserved that gold star.

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thalia

wrote 86 days ago

ohmygod! best book ever... i was freaking out, jumping up aand down, ohmygoshing and well acting totally wierd with excitement.. but still it was just great!! i loved it!! even though i finished the book i would still buy it. i did notice a couple of spelling errors and gramer errors but no biggie. well great job!! i loved it, and trust me i hate this type of stories, this is probably the exception. loved loved loved it!! good job, and i hope you write another one like this soon.

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Alimr

wrote 88 days ago

I love the ending! Absolutely amazing!!!!!!

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Shubhanshi Mishra

wrote 88 days ago

awesome !

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MythScavenger

wrote 89 days ago

This was absolutely amazing! Bravo!

---MythScavenger

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Pisces1_13

wrote 89 days ago

yes!!!! i am so glad that you updated. i was really starting to worry about you forgetting about us.anyway i love the ending. great job. i really enjoyed reading this story.

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Unwritten

wrote 90 days ago

That was the best story i've ever read... Let's just say i've read an awful lot of stories! I love how it's not horror but yet it's suspensful because she keeps changing her mind about practically every boy in the book. You'll never guess the end until you read it!!!!!

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DriaDay

wrote 90 days ago

Despite that I'm devastated that this is over, that ended "beautifully." :) It was the perfect way to tie it all together. Of course I'm curious on the whole Eric/Trish situation and how Jase and Lexi will survive college, this was amazing.

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pinkbook14

wrote 90 days ago

Jase's and Lexi's relationship reminds me of the song .The Pipettes - It Hurts To See You Dance So Well.

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OceanGaze

wrote 90 days ago

Omg i just finished reading the last two chapters so glad you updated them loved the ending and once again this is an AMAZING book!!!!!

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colleeniebeanie

wrote 90 days ago

Sorry I've commented a few times before, but I just have to comment again! I absolutely love this book! If this doesn't get published, the editors are insane. I've never noticed a top pick with this many comments or on this many pick lists and watch lists. It's amazing. But I'm not suprised- if any book deserves this much love, it's this one! WHEN this gets published, I promise I'll be at the bookstore the day it comes out, waiting for the doors to open. I'll be like one of those people camped out waiting for a new hary potter book or the ipad or something. But seriously, this is perfect and it's probably the best book I've ever read. <3

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The Importance of Getting Revenge

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