inkpop: Altered - If you had to choose between the lives of millions or the lives of your loved ones, how could you?

Sammi207

wrote 11 days ago

Hello, m'dears! Thank you for continuing support. It's amazing. It's unbelievable. It's also done lovely things to my writing ego, which is kind of nice.
So. If you're checking out Altered, there's some sort of technical issue with the buttons 3, 10, and 11. It's annoying and weird and I've sent a message to Inkpop to try and get some help. I'm so sorry for the confusion; I'm scared to mess with it too much, though, because I don't want to delete the story. If that happened, there would be screaming. A lot of screaming.
Please, please, please, keep reading past the 3 button if you like the story, and I'm so sorry about the confusion. I'm trying to fix it, promise!

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HometownLegacy

wrote 10 days ago

WOW. Thats all I can stutter out. You are truely one talented writer! If this story gets published, I swear damn this will be the first thing I buy.
(What im about to say may offend many vampire obsessives such as myself) This is BETTER than Twilight saga. There, said it. Also, (i'm in some sort of excited phase after reading up to chapter 4 (still reading, dont worry!) ) If this does (and pleeassee do so any publishers reading) get published, there better be more books ^^
-Kayleigh

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finding-forever.

wrote 25 days ago

So despite how closely I've been watching Altered for new updates, the sixth chapter must have slipped my grasp. And I'm so disappointed it did, because if I'd read this earlier I'm sure I would have been freaking out and telling everyone I know about this. Because oh my goodness, you managed to portray so much freaking awesome emotion into each chapter, and the characters? I'm just in love with Ky and Peitra. ♥ And even jealous Lilia and sardonic Ash make me smile. :)

I really love how you started the plot; it hooked the reader in just enough for them to be interested and want to keep reading, but at the same time was very interesting and original. As the chapters go on and as I read more, I can't wait for the next update. I'm literally gripping my computer screen and sitting on the edge of my chair wanting more. (:

Awesome grammar & spelling, and I really enjoy how the plot is going on. Although it's very intense and gives the reader a shocking feel, with the sci-fi-ness of it all, you bring details in slowly and make it more enjoyable to read. I love Ash's voice and the way you end each chapter; always with a cliffhanger, but one that will definitely keep readers interested.

Your writing leaves a lot to imagination, but isn't so vague enough as to be not thought out. Two things that I'm really curious about, however, are what exactly PEKA is. Is it some sort of lab? An organization? Why did they make the Altered soldiers in the first place? And also, Damien. Who is he and what importance does he have in the story? I love that he seems so in the plot already, what with the way that Ash blames herself and how significant he seemed to be.

Altered has a feel of an alternate universe with different technological advances from our world, but at the same time, I feel as if I can really relate to it in a purely social way. Ash is struggling with herself and what she is, just like a lot of teenagers are. And Ky! Gosh, I can't stop fangirling Ky, I just adore him way too much. :) It would be so awesome if you went into his character and personality a bit more, although his relationship with Ash and what he means to her is really amazing so far.

All in all, I LOVE this book. I can definitely see it being published, and since it's already so close to the top five, and it's only been here for such a short period of time, I'm sure that it won't be long before it actually does become a novel. :) Great great great great x 192831 job! (:

♥daniella

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Littlun

wrote 26 days ago

Please tell me you have more and you'll be adding it ASAP! I've read all six chapters and need more. This story is sooooo original and I love the mix of the dystopia with the supernatural; it's brilliant. I have to say this is the first story on Inkpop that I've read that I truly believe without a doubt could actually be published. I love the idea behind the tattoo and how it started to corrode and that was the sign that something was going wrong.
I like Ash a lot, especially how she feels torn between helping her friends and being rid of her past life. I also find it neat how you have little flashbacks intertwined with the actual story.
I also love Ky...but since he is clearly an important character, I would like a little bit more description, but other than that, his character is coming along very nicely.
Your grammar and spelling is pretty much right on the dot, which is awesome, it makes reading it so much easier and more enjoyable.
The only real discrepancy I have deals with Damien. Who is he? I get that he was also one of the Altered and that he died and that Ash feels it was her fault, but other than that I'm lost. He was clearly very important to Ash, but I don't know why. Though you are only starting your story, I could use a bit more about him, particularly with his relationship to Ash. Were they just really good friends or something more? Was he like her older brother? What exactly happened to him? while some of these details can be told a little later on, I feel you should at least establish his relationship to Ash in these first few chapters or at least hint at it.

Oh, the only other thing I was wondering...is Markal gay? I get hints that he is and then others that he may not be so I was just a little confused on that aspect.

Other than that, the story rocks. It has a great plot, the perfect amount of action, and characters that are genuine and multi-dimmensional who you wouldn't mind snuggling up with for a little while.

Keep on writing, I'm rooting for you to get into that top five. Best of Luck!
I hope you found this comment helpful and encouraging. Let me know if there is any more insight I could give you and please let me know when you post more! Thanks for an awesome read!

P.S. If you have the time, I'd love to hear your opinion about my story, The Sentry, since we are writing about very similar topics. My story is also set in a dystopian setting and is about a girl who is trying to take down a messed up government, sort of like yours. I have a feeling we could learn a lot from eachother. I know I've already learned a lot about the genre just by reading Altered. Hope to hear from you soon. Thanks and good luck with Altered. You are doing a fantastic job.

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Exiled_Muse

wrote 27 days ago

First off, that beginning was just so amazing. I'm still not quite sure what made me scream like a high school girl and automatically pick your book before giving a thorough comment but regardless of the chain of events, Ash caught my attention from the beginning, her attitude and the way she responded to Peitra's call, her voice and how you inserted that little tidbit about being an Altered soldier without giving anything away just in the first few lines. Merely by reading the dialogue alone, I could imagine Peitra's dramatic pleas and Ash's skepticism. The characters came alive easily and made their mark with little difficulty.

When Peitra went silent, I could feel an almost ominous air to the whole setting, and the absolute contrast between his prattling self and the serious way he told Ash the time was disconcerting and made me stand on edge for what would happen next. =D Have I said how much I love Markal's introduction? The way he speaks and how Ash described him as being terrifying despite wearing a purple coat made me laugh and yet love him all the more. Perhaps I am a bit too fan crazed to give a proper critique but I can find anything grammatically incorrect and >_< this is just so good. Continuing on...

Oh my god. That ending to the first chapter. The silver mark turned black, corroding and those last three words. Just like mine. I seriously died when I read that. You have such a way with words and giving everyone a personality with just a single sentence of dialogue. The more Ky, Rixie, Peitra and Ash speak together, the more I wanted to find out about PEKA. What exactly are they? Granted, as I'm commenting as I'm reading, no doubt this will be a completely obsolete question but still. My curiosity is peaked. =D I feel like Rixie is the weak link. Her whispered "If we went to PEKA, they would fix it." makes me doubt her despite how she's a part of the Altered Core. Ahhh, Ahhh. >_< This is getting too emotional so I had to return and comment again before continuing reading. The way they're all pleading with Ash is almost like a guilt trip and yet. >_< The basics of the story and how they're genetically modified and chemically altered to be more superior reminds me a bit of Ender's Game and how the kids were far superior in intellect and other abilities, and also the way they fought in the war. However, this is far more chilling in a different aspect, with the emotion that Ash and especially Peitra, in addition to the other characters, bring to the story.

Ahhhhhhhhhh! I think you're trying to giving me a heart attack. The endings of the first two chapters had me reading on and I don't know if that bomb was meant more for Kardia's sense of loyalty or to make me continue reading. *sighs* I like Ky. Is he going to end up with Ash? ^_^ Nuuuuuo, Peitra. =( The addition of the four more Altered was a little confusing with the fast paced scene just previously, since I assumed from Ash's perspective that the other eight Altered had died. I think I'm just tired and what I should be saying is that Ash was part of the Altered Core with eleven others but I somehow assumed there were no others. *sighs* I love Markal. He's just so funny and I like how you added in the history about the Calamity when describing what he did for a living. It was a nice way of incorporating the backstory without info dumping for no reason.

Okay, I need a break because otherwise I will be beating my head against the computer wondering why you aren't published and why in the world I finished reading six chapters without doing anything useful besides reading your story. But update, update! I'm not a usual fan of science fiction stories but this one had me intrigued from the very beginning. Ash's character is realistic despite her alterations and I love how snarky she can be sometimes and yet still have that inner "swooshy" part of her that no one ever sees but us as the readers. The way you craft your sentences and choose your words is amazing. I can find no fault except to know more, who is PEKA (actually.. what does it stand for?), what is Markal hiding behind his kohl-lined eyes and you are just way too good at getting me to continue. I was going to save the second three chapters for bedtime reading. =.= But gaaaaaaaah, Ky + Ash + losing control >_< I want to cry now. I really really really like Peitra too. Is it a crime for me to love your characters so much? >_<

Okay, okay. No more. Not yet. I must refrain. I'm going to go curl up in a ball and stop reading so I have something good to read later. But suffice it to say, you deserve to be in the picklists of the the top three trendsetters for good reason. =)

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Molly Prangley Desormeaux

wrote 1 hour ago

please take a look at my book!! http://www.inkpop.com/projects/28379/the-angel-on-the-christmas-tree/

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Roses4U

wrote 15 hours ago

Love it. Thats all i can say.
But hey I'm kind of new to this and I was wondering how you guys put pictures for your book covers. Do you take the picture, draw it, or photo shop them, is my question exactly. Just wondering...

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readersmile1

wrote 18 hours ago

This is amazing! Broke my heart, reading it. Let me know when this gets published. And, girl, this is in the top ten of books i like (including ones that have been published) and i read a lot of good books.

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PhysikQueen21

wrote 1 day ago

I love the way you set the plot up, and I don't think I've read a story with better spelling/grammar so far on Inkpop. I love the way you end each chapter with a cliffhanger too--you would (or maybe not) be surprised how many times I screamed for having to click a button to go to the next chapter.
That being said (I know you want criticism, I may not be the right person this time--I'll try though), there's a couple little itty-bitty things. Ky, for one. Since he's so obviously a big part in Altered, he needs a little more description. And Damien just leaves me wondering. He's dead and Ash feels it's her fault and all, but I'm lost like a pirate without a treasure map when it comes to knowing anything more than that. And PEKA is just like Damien... Huh? What's going on with that?
Or am I just not reading it right?
I loved it all the same...and trust me, if it gets published I'll be skipping school to buy.

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winter2

wrote 1 day ago

You have a very unique story here and I would so buy it and I would love to see on film all the colours you describe. It's so visually appealing to me! There were some small grammatical errors and spelling errors... "'They mark you as heroes'," Kylu muttered. He "That's what they..." what's the HE in there for? But I really do like this story! Your characters are so fun and their names! Very good job picking not-over-used names. ;) I think you have a great thing going here and I will come back for more.

Oh, even though this starts with the character waking up which is a BIG no-no, it works for how easily she gives in to the meeting. NEVER change that.

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autumn to mayli

wrote 2 days ago

two words "love it!!"

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Anniliscious

wrote 2 days ago

Reading this reminds me of the tv show Dark Angel. Which is awesome because I love that show, and I'm lovin' the story line!

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kevinwong_HoD

wrote 2 days ago

Hi Sammi. You write with a unique style and your book contains many themes / elements blended together. Sci-fi, adventure, pop culture even: it's an interesting mix! :-)

For your pitch, you need to pluralize solder to soldiers. You wrote "one of the best soldier ever known", but it needs to be "one of the best soldiers ever known". It's important to make the pitches perfect: this is what the publishers' editors and book agents will read first before they read your manuscript.

I wish you luck and success for your story. It's obvious that you worked hard to get it to the top 5, and so I hope it pays off! :-)

Yours Truly,

Kevin Wong
Author of Heroes of Destiny

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Nevermind

wrote 2 days ago

OOohkay, you messaged me ages ago asking to read this and all I can say is BOY I AM STUPID. I was so missing out.This is easily the best thing I have read on Ink yet--i was engrossed by the first line. I love how you open right when she's answering the phone call that changes her life. Brilliant. I love all your characters, I could sit here for hours telling you just how perfect they all are.

What I especially like is whenever one of the fallen Altered is mentioned, like Tessau, you do that flashback thing with the italics....like, scowl turns to easy grin, or something. It really puts their suffering into perspective. I LOOOOOVE the end of the first chapter--or is the prologue? Al your chapters are emotionally and action-packed. THey flow perfectly, your grammar is ALMOST immaculate ,but I kept catching alot of little things, like forgetting apostrophes or putting "he" instead of "she" or something, like you were skipping a letter. But it wasn't even that bad---i was so engrossed I just kept moving.

The highest praise I can give you is this: I was so into Altered that when I went to Barnes and Nobles the next day, I walked out without buying anything because all I coiuld think of was that it would have been GREAT if I could have just bought Altered and read it in the car instead of having to wait to get to a comp. i am so serious. I am addicted, ADDICTED, and You must update soon because it's just too good. I wish I could do the things that these characters do. THey remind me of Maximum Ride's flock in their resilience, strength, power and defiance of those that created them, But your characters are ALL rounded out, and come completed. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and surprises and betrayals, and somehow it all just WORKS.

None of your scenes are predictable, but they are all natural, if that makes sense. Your way with words is so beautiful that I feel like I know your characters, I feel like Ashya--like I've known them all my life. Ky sounds HOT. Peitra makes me laugh. Lilia I don't really like, though. markal and Ky's rivalry is JUICY. Just makes me drink it up!! I would love to hear more about Damien and the mystery of his death, and of the ALtered's histories. I love the color thing, it's awesome. I was so into the book I reacted readily as I read; I gasped, I awwed, and mostly I laughed. It was like a movie in my head, your imagery was that good.

The only criticism I have is this: I think you need to put some more descriptions of their surroundings. Sometimes I felt like you concentrated too much on the characters themselves. Maybe add some more thought about Ashya getting back into her old life; sometimes the flashbacks seemed sudden and out of place. I like how you're just showing bits and pieces of their past but I'm aching to see the whole story sometime, maybe in a nightmare? I don't even know what else to say, except that I am now a die-hard Altered fan and you had better update sometime soon.

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WhiteRabbit

wrote 2 days ago

I've read the first chapter. It is a very interesting concept and very imaginative. I will probably be reading some more. I'm interested to find out what will happen. The characters seem realistic and there is some really good description. This is really good.

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ForgottenxSymphony

wrote 2 days ago

This reminds me of the Hunger Games series with its strong central female character and her intense caring attitude toward her family. Though the Maximum Ride series is also similar. I like the unique imagery you manage to create in a mere sentence, planting the reader into this intense post-apocalyptic world filled with intrigue and intense political dynamics.
Keep up the amazing work.

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LindzL

wrote 3 days ago

I can tell it's a very nice story from what I read. The plot was good and your characters had that realistic touch that grabs a reader's attention. Messaging you with all my other notes.

-Lindz :D

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livsweet

wrote 3 days ago

I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it is soooooo freaking good! you should totally get this published because hell ill buy it! im not finished but i can not wait to! you are an amazing writer!!

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HearMe

wrote 3 days ago

okay so i just read it and i have to say, you are extremely creative. this is so original and like nothing i've read before. that may sound a little cliche but it's true. you are a very talented writer. i love all the names of your characters; they're so different. anyway, i really like it, so keep me updated.

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Nella-Rosmarino

wrote 4 days ago

I really like this story and especially your characters :)
I love her humor especially when she recieves the phone call,
he found not because of technology but because I couldn't check the caller id, lol!
I wish I could give you some advice but its just flawless. Going on my picks!

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UntitledMess

wrote 4 days ago

So like, I started... and then I couldn't stop! When I find something as good as this, I just sit down and READ. Yes, it seems like i read it really fast. But pfft. I read it like the wind. God, I fell in love with this faster than you can think possible!

I Really like the concept or war made children. They seem so incredibly powerful and skillful. The story is incredibly raw in it's own sense with the events and the character.. I dunno... personalities. Like Ash, for example. She feels like a hardcore girl to me, right from the start I thought that. And she is hardcore. She's the captain, the leader, the commander! It's amazing!

I like how Ky and the others look up to her so much, even if they're taller than her or stronger (if at all). I like the opposition between all of the characters and all of the action involved in this! Like the motorcycle ride to the dead city, or the bomb exploding in the house. The way you describe it all is phenomenal and so simple. Your writing style IS in fact simple, but so elegant that it feels beautiful and well done.

What I like is that their eyes change color. It really adds to their characters. Let's just say I love your characters <3

When they are captured by PEKA again, that makes me sort of sad, actually. God, it's so unfair... And jeez! Those poor kids! GOD! Markal is one of my favorites, though. So is Ky ;DD LOVE.

I found no errors, I'm sorry to say. Altered... GREAT BOOK! Once I can pick and I have a pick spot open, it's going on there. Yep.

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Addie

wrote 4 days ago

i got chills at the end of that first chapter. love it!!
"Maturity is overrated.' hehe i love this. i will be adding it to my picks right now :
-Addie:)

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KDBDanielle

wrote 4 days ago

Your word choice is just so beautiful in this!! Every single sentence of this is 100% unique. Your characters are so lively I truly believe I once met them. Your setting and world just puts me in awe. Your writing is so developed. No doubt you will find some publisher that'll just swoop this up and tons of teen girls screaming for more. Shoot, I'm screaming for more!! :) Wonderful job on everything. Looks like you really worked your hardest to make this as close to perfect as can be.

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phedra

wrote 4 days ago

this is really good, i like ur story line and how you put together your sentences. good job!!!

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cipherqueen

wrote 4 days ago

On the summary: I would put the very last lineat the top (replacing the bold). My personal preference. Then you could move that line down.

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gabbwee

wrote 4 days ago

I love it! AWESOME! no wonder it is in the top 5. It roxs! i can't wait to read more!

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Pudin Puddy

wrote 4 days ago

I'm usually not the one to read first person stories, but this one was just amazing. The scenes passed in a very good pace, and it showed a lot of what happens inside Ash's head without going too far. I like her personality in the first chapter; it reveals a little about her, and her past.
Good job; keep up the good work.

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Quirkyloverofreading.

wrote 4 days ago

Wow thats really good, i would have liked a bit more of an introduction just to get used to the idea of the 'altered', but other than that really enjoyable i will be reading on :D

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Caitlan Zufelt

wrote 4 days ago

HOLY CROW! IS THERE MORE?!?!?!?! After Chapter Eight, is there more!!!!!!??????? Update me when you add more, k?? THIS IS AMZING!

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ShadowPeople

wrote 4 days ago

OKAY i am freaking out right now! I really want to read more but i CAN'T you HAVE to HAVE TO add more or fix the chapter 10 and 11 thing i'm dying here! this is such an amazing story and i really want to find out what happens next!!!! Tell me when you update PLEASE!

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Arcana_Hereticae

wrote 5 days ago

I like your choice of words. You have a very good narrative as well. But I feel like there's too much backstory missing in the first chapter. There's all these names mentioned and these events, but not much else. I think that you need to explain them a bit more. Otherwise, very good.

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Maiawa

wrote 5 days ago

ok ok ok gotta say it again- IM IN LUUUUUURVE WITH THIS BOOK! sometimes reading in first person can be aboying and boring, but with Ash its just fabulous! i realy love her perspective. a few times i got lost in the story and didnt realy understand some plot points, but im sure that if i keep reading i will understand better. can i just aske you a) have you finished the book?
b) how long did it take you to write the book?
thnx

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Maiawa

wrote 5 days ago

ok ok ok gotta say it again- IM IN LUUUUUURVE WITH THIS BOOK! sometimes reading in first person can be aboying and boring, but with Ash its just fabulous! i realy love her perspective. a few times i got lost in the story and didnt realy understand some plot points, but im sure that if i keep reading i will understand better. can i just aske you a) have you finished the book?
b) how long did it take you to write the book?
thnx

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flyingmonkey

wrote 5 days ago

Okay, first, I loved it. What I could read, at least. Two, I must finish it. Could you message me when inkpop fixes it? Going on my watch list for now...

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Cassie Green

wrote 5 days ago

Good job!
:)
Comment on my work?
Thanks!
-Cassie

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Caitlan Zufelt

wrote 5 days ago

Wow, this is amazing! I love the voice in the characters. Very Well Done! As soon as this gets published, I WILL BUY IT! YAY!

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BQMirley

wrote 6 days ago

I love this book! i can't stop reading!

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Camelo

wrote 6 days ago

I had checked this story out a little while before but was kinda busy to read it, now I'm regretting it. The first few chapters are great and I will definitely be buying this book if it gets published. You know how to split up your chapters well, ending them right when something semi-critical or important happens so people just keep reading :)

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Caitlan Zufelt

wrote 6 days ago

This is way better than any other book I have ever read. You are an amazing writer. As soon as it gets published I am definitley buying it. I love how you can hear the voice of all your characters in the words they say and think.
~Caitlan Zufelt~

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Tilly Thread

wrote 6 days ago

Hi again, Sam. I just finished reading through the rest of the chapters, and I must say... awesome. Really awesome. In the beginning, I was worried that the characters were going to blend together too much- and some of the minor characters do; I can't tell Tepper from Iyan, to be honest- but the main characters are all distinct in my mind. I thought you were going pretty far out of your way when you had them go into the Ruins to get Piertra back, but once I realized what you were actually doing with that situation, I realized it was a pretty good move. I like the way you describe some of the members of the Core who've already died- by italicizing a few characteristics about them. It gives me a bit of a picture in my head. Also, those flashbacks are powerful- they show Ash's freinds' deaths in a way that even makes me cringe, and I don't do that often.
You had a few typos here and there, but you were good with grammar and stuff overall.
There's a lot of action, a lot of suspence/surprise, and a lot of humor in this story, which I enjoy. Also, I like how you kept the romance down to a bare minimum- I'm usually a sucker for romance, but I thought that keeping it out of the limelight was really good for this story. In addition, you always keep me curious and wanting to know more. I can't find too much to complain about, besides that some parts get boring- for example, when Ash and Ky were going through the Ruins, I felt my eyes wander and had to force myself to concentrate. Overall, though, you kept me interested; nice job. ;)
If you have any questions about what I said, or if you want me to comment on some more chapters when you upload them, just message me. ;) I live to serve.
By the way... sorry about the confusion earlier, with the chapter numbers... I thought that the chapters themselves weren't working, you know?
Until we meet again- Tilly

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Ivyshadow

wrote 6 days ago

Thats the best I've ever read.no joke! You have some awesome skills.

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nikannika

wrote 6 days ago

wow...good...because you're having issues with 10 and 11, coulja email me them? 9 is so cliff-hanging and its driving me nuts! message me for my email if you will...AMAZING AND WELL WRITTEN!!!

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Tilly Thread

wrote 6 days ago

Sam, I'm so sorry, but I have a problem with reading ahead in a book- you know, skipping a chapter. It's one of those things that I flat-out refuse to do, no matter the circumstances, and doing it just BOTHERS me, you know? And Chapter 2 ended at such a good part, too! *screams in frustration* Send me a message the moment the links get fixed, and I'll finish reading and commenting right away. I'll keep Altered on my Watch List until then.
So far, I like this story a lot. The phone call at the beginning helped me to get attached to the story (especially the part about how 'we're going to die. Violently.' That was nice.). After the explanation that she'd left four years ago, I was kind of off-balance about the fact that she was going back so easily, although by the end of this chapter, I could already see how close the Core was. Therefore, it's pretty much starting to make more sense to me. The characters are pretty distinctive in my mind so far, and I especially like Ky... but what can I say? I'm a sucker for hot guys. Especially ones who say 'Commander' all the time like that... :)
I kind of like how you showed that simply being with the Core started making her revert back to her Altered instincts. The whole idea of the Core and the Altered, in general, intrigues me. I have so many questions... but it bothers me too much to read ahead (once again, sorry. :()
There were only a few things I could pick out of your story that weren't right. There were mainly places that there should've been hyphens, but there weren't any (seventeen-year-old ex-murderer, hollow-eyed, brown-haired, etc.) Also, in the beginning, you had Markal say that she used twenty-six cans of hair dye, but then later, she said she had to go out and buy her twenty-fifth... was that her kind of not listening (or just not caring) about what Markal was saying?
That's all I have to say for now. Once again, I'm sorry about not just skipping ahead, but doing that legitimately makes me feel weird. I'll comment on the rest of your work the moment I can read from chapter three on, I promise.
Until we meet again- Tilly

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Narnia Fan

wrote 7 days ago

This is great! The idea is so original... though I must say, does there have to be so much bad language? Just an idea. I mean, it's not going to offend anyone if it ISN'T there. Overall, though, I like it!

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sweethang311

wrote 7 days ago

Wow. You are an amazing writer, the details, the dialogue, all amazing. I love the idea of Altered kid soldiers, quite origianl. It's the type of book you can't stand to put down, which is great! Awesome job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Sunny E

wrote 7 days ago

I am having problems getting past the first page, but I like the beginning so far and would definitely like to read the rest of the book. It already feels like one of those books that you cannot stop reading once you start.

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Rebekah Anne Fultz

wrote 7 days ago

I love this Sammi!!!! It's spectacular, and sci-fi...and sci-fi is totally my thing!!!! Plus it's not about stupid vampires! It's a whole new idea and your writing is excellent... I can't stop reading!!!!

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lostfanatic15

wrote 8 days ago

Wow! I literally just joined the sight less than ten minutes ago and if this is how all the books are, then this must be an amazing sight! i have only read about a page and am already extremely hooked! This story is all the sci-fi and romance and action anyone could ever need! I will definetely be watching and waiting for this to be published!

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Jaelee

wrote 8 days ago

I'm halfway through chapter one and if it wasn't because I have class in seven hours and need some form of sleep I'd keep reading. Your characterizations are really impressive. They jump off the page and I can picture each one perfectly, right down to the tone. Wonderful job!

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spindelberrygirl

wrote 8 days ago

Wonderful!From the first chapter I was hooked and within short time it took before getting to the Garden I became attached to the characters.I can't wait for more to find out what's going to happen next.Awesome job!

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Courtney Roberts

wrote 8 days ago

This is a beautiful, wonderful, amazing book. I could go on and on but then I'd just embarrass myself. You are a great writer and paint a wonderful picture, even if some of it isn't meant to be wonderful. If you could, I would love it if you kept me posted on when you add a new chapter.
~Courtney

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zaqsway

wrote 8 days ago

omg i totally love this. i mean i have only read the first chapter so far but i really love this i and i know that this sounds majorly dorky but i can't help but see this as an anime!

Nice work! Keep it up!

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UnfoldingRose

wrote 9 days ago

I really have enjoyed reading your book. I think it would be worth publishing, and I really like the way you use so much dialogue. It enhances the feel of the action. You have a clean writing style and very original ideas. :D

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ebeam

wrote 9 days ago

Awesome story line, check your spelling. Other then that keep up the good work.

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Lector

wrote 9 days ago

This is a very clever and unique kind of story!
With the whole concept of the Altered soldiers, which by the way is SO cool!
I like how they have their own saying of good luck “May the Warrior keep you safe.” Wow.
Wonderful descriptions of the different characters, like Peitra with his eyes glittering orange and still being able to make it sound SO cool!
“Maturity is overrated.” Hehe, I always love a bit of humor, and somehow even with the semi-serious tone of the whole idea of this story, it still fits right in.
I really enjoy that her whole past is not just given, it is more hinted at.
I love how the first chapter ends, just WOW! Such a cliffhanger!!! And still managing to add in another bit of conflict.
I love all the imagery, especially when it came to the different characters.
I think it is mainly the narration that makes it for me on this story, not only does it flow so excellently from her thinking “Kinky smile” right back into dialogue.
Excellent, excellent concept and story! I can easily see why you’re in the top picks and as soon as I have a moment to clear my picks up this is going on it! Wow.

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