inkpop: The Online Community of Rising Stars in Teen Lit

Book Jacket

Rank 729 (-20)

Word Count

17055

Date submitted

11.14.2009

Date Updated

06.19.2010

Love Story

by AshleyVictoria

Book: Adventure, Mystery, Romance, Science Fiction/Fantasy

An arranged marriage, secret love affair, possible war between kingdoms, and an evil plan to get rid of them all-a love story like no other

All Princess Arianna has ever dreamed about is to be in love with the one whom she thinks is her soul mate. But all dreams are crushed when her parents inform her of a treaty with a neighboring Kingdom, Charlton and how it includes her. She must marry Prince Royce, and the wedding has just been moved up. When her brother introduces her to the handsome and mysterious Prince Ethan (of the Kingdom, Eldridge-and the wrong Prince for her) her heart has been stolen and dreams are revived. With a secret love affair, a looming wedding date to a man she doesn’t love, and now an evil plan that includes destroying everything she knows-by someone she is very close to- Love Story steals you away into a world of magic, fantasy, suspense and forbidden love.

report abuse
View Project
Add to My Picks

On 12 Pick Lists

On 22 Watch Lists

15 Comments

Share this project on:

comments

Tessa~Faith

wrote 20 days ago

Chapter ONE:
I enjoyed the first chapter immensly. You have a few stiff spots, but overall it's good. The one thing I would suggest you change is the paragraph where Arianna is stating why she doesn't want to be a princess. The writing seems too modern for the story, other then that I loved it! I want to read more!

Chapter TWO:
"Usually they can (could) help."
"It only shows (showed) that the royal family still cares (cared)..."
" 'Lead the way.(,)' he invited."
"...after a great war that Arianna was never alive for." This sounds like the war keeps happening over and over. You might want to fix that.

You seem to use alot of hyphens (-). You might want to pare down a little.

And your dialogue seems a bit modern in this chapter as well.

Chapter THREE:
" '...yes.{,}' She confirmed."
"...saying those two {three} words to him..."
"Even when it rained you could still come out here..." This whole sentence is confusing.
" 'It's magnificent. {,} Royce complimented."
Again I think your dialogue is a bit modern.

Happy writing,
Tessa~Faith

report abuse

redprimarily

wrote 34 days ago

seriously !!! you got me hooked on yet another story of yours .... you are such an amazing writer ! this story is absolutely wonderful , now im going to have to beg you to update these stories too ... lool

report abuse

teddybear_1

wrote 58 days ago

I absolutely love this story! The exchanges between the characters are wonderful and Arianna is completely relatable. Its a wonderful story and I can't wait for the next chapter!

report abuse

bekisp

wrote 75 days ago

one of the most amazing stories i have read in a really long time!!! :) I read a ton of books and this is one of the best! I cant wait for you to write more ^-^

report abuse

GirlInTheBeanie

wrote 106 days ago

GUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA chapter five was HILARIOUS
i love your writing-- it's very clear, and your descriptions are clear and blunt. i like the distinct personalities, they're awesome.
no major flaws worth mentioning, but i love your humor and refreshing voice. =.=

report abuse

xxxZEROxxx

wrote 107 days ago

You have concocted a beautiful opening. I love Arianna. She's such a romantic that she's so easy for me to relate to. She's so persevering, and I just like the way she is really desperate for her true love. I think that's really adorable.
The way the characters talk makes them really enchanting--just like they were carved from a fairytale, and their names are awesome too!
Just wanted to say this but BLOND you got it right! It's really hard to read something where people use blonde for guys. blond=guys, blondE=girls. Just wanted to throw that out.
I really like the idea of the enchanted forest. It reminds me of this TV show I used to watch (but it didn't have princesses) and I just feel in love with that show, like I did with this book. Back to the story...the forest gives the story a bit of excitement and thrill. Nice touch.
I'm stickin' this on my picks if it wasn't obvious already.
-Susie:D

report abuse

diran823

wrote 225 days ago

are you going to be updating this soon?

report abuse

leahsayshellooo

wrote 226 days ago

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA i love the end of the forth chapter.

report abuse

bbpstudios

wrote 227 days ago

Your blurb about this story reminds me of all but human. You Guys should check it out at my page.

report abuse

Nickle :D <3

wrote 266 days ago

Hmmm the blurb about this book seems familiar to Romeo and Juliet. Maybe I'm wrong, I'll check this out some time. =D ; )
~Nicole

report abuse

IamJenny

wrote 266 days ago

hi! im hoping you can read my novel Enchanted and give constructive criticism if you got any time..thx!
God bless!
http://inkpop.com/projects/4099/enchanted/read-project/#chapter
~jen

report abuse

ArtisitFairie

wrote 266 days ago

Love the story!! Well written. Please put more soon!! =)

report abuse

cara_ruegg

wrote 281 days ago

firstly i love your book cover. secondly i love your style of writing. this is amazing. your descriptions are vivid and beautiful. i love the enchanted forest and the blue silk that brushed along her fingertips. small things like this are very beautiful touches to a story. you are so talented and will get very far one day. X

report abuse

Endings Without Stories

wrote 286 days ago

Just read the pitch. And it sounds super good. I will come back to actually read it. :)
Going on my watch list. :)

report abuse

darkestlight

wrote 287 days ago

I thought this was very well written. I really liked your story line and I can't wait to see how the story will unfold. So far, I felt that you did a good job portraying your characters. I like Arianna a lot. Keep up the good work and make sure to keep me updated on this story. I can't wait to see what happens next.

report abuse

1

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

spread the word about inkpop: