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Rank 2682 (-45)
Word Count
85
Date submitted
02.25.2010
Date Updated
05.11.2010
by EscapingMyImagination
Poem
Keeping silent is hard.
Keeping silent is hard when you know something isn't the truth.
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14 Comments
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wrote 71 days ago
I like that poem! My only suggestion is to to change "If I keep it inside" to "If I keep it [all] inside."
wrote 73 days ago
This is very interesting and i like the ending "hold on to your dirty secret and let me go" keep writing and keep me updated!! :)
wrote 77 days ago
this was really good and really creative. i love the rhyme scheme you used. good job! :)
Very good! It rhytmes and it has a good meaning to the challenge.
wrote 81 days ago
this is really good. I am pretty short when it comes to comments so let me say this, this is really good and i love the flow of the words. good emotions, good poem.
wrote 152 days ago
I like the conversational nature of this poem. It does sound like someone is actually speaking these lines to someone else...good job there!My only suggestion would be to increase the complexity of your rhythms...this seems a little nursery rhyme-ish to me....(that is not meant as an insult, it is simply my point of view.) As a poet myself, I am always concerned with the way the lines and stanzas flow together. I have to read everything out loud before I post it, (or even finish it), to make sure it sounds the way I want it to. Maybe you should give that a try...good job though! I like the way you addressed the challenge prompt...
wrote 155 days ago
this is freaking great! :)i love your vocabulary :) it really sticks out :Dgreat work here!
This is great. The only problem I saw was it says "you" and the end where it should be "your". But like everyone says, great last line.
I like the rhyme. It came easily without the feeling that you were manipulating the words and changing what you were trying to say to fit the scheme. I love the last line "hold onto your dirty little secret and let me go." It shows a maturation through the poem from the beginning where you are going to hold onto his lie and the end when you're going to let him stand on his own with the problem he caused.
Short, sweet and to the point! "I don't want to lose myself/To protect your dirty little lie" -- well stated.Good luck!
This poem is great. It flows well, and speaks volumes in a clean concise way. I see no need to change a thing, it's wonderful the way it is! Well Done :D
wrote 156 days ago
really well written! I like the last part, when it said Hold on to your dirty secret/And let me go. Two thumbs up! :)
oooh i like this!!!! it rhymnes, i love rhymning stuff! good job!!!! :D
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