inkpop: The Roses of Cooraclare - But we never called it war. We called it life.

drsheridan

wrote 117 days ago

notes from the author:
-I took the author's note out, because I have a dreadful habit of assuming my readers don't know stuff. I trust you guys now, use context clues and the Internet if you're confused. But now the chapters actually align with inkpop, yay!

-YES THE NAMES ARE HARD TO PRONOUNCE. pretty pretty please stop pointing that out in the comments. There's a pronunciation guide a little ways down in this comment, I put it there for your own good. I'm not putting any sort of guide in the book because published books typically don't have things like that, and I also hate assuming my readers are idiots. Read the pronunciation guide!!!!

-This isn't even close to being done. I honestly have no clue how long it will be, but I plan for the story to end in 1922, after the death of Michael Collins. (ooh, spoiler alert! okay, not really, that's somewhat common knowledge.)

-If you think you'll have any sort of issue with a romance scene, then skip chapter 10. It's not explicit, but I know some people on this site get squeamish about that kinda stuff. But do be warned: Skip it and you'll miss a major (and I mean really, REALLY, MAJOR) plot point.

-Things that will be coming soon: an attack... a new alliance... and some medical drama! stay tuned, inkpoppers, stay tuned.

-I've created a fanpage for "The Roses of Cooraclare" on Facebook... so search for it and check it out! There's also a link to it on my profile under the "websites" tab.

-The story is split into three parts, as follows:
Part 1: The Spark (Chapters 1-10, March 1919 to August 1919)
Part 2: The Blaze (Chapters 11-??, November 1920-July 1921)
Part 3: The Ashes (Chapters ??-??, January 1922-August 1922)

IT IS NOT DONE! Not even close. I'll try to add more as quick as I can, but historical fiction does take longer to write than other genres because I'm constantly having to look things up and such. So be patient--I probably won't post the entire book because, well, I'm eventually going to start querying. Once I'm old enough and publishers might take me seriously.

Some FAQs answered:

"What the heck is the consumption?"
"The consumption" is just an old-timey phrase for tuberculosis, a bacterial disease that was pretty common in Ireland around this time period. Angela's Ashes describes it in more detail that you'd want.

"Black-and-tans... yeah, um, what are those?"
The British soldiers that were sent to Ireland to attempt at maintaining order, which they obviously sucked at. There were many instances of black-and-tans killing innocents during the Irish Revolution. They wore black and tan uniforms, hence, where their name comes from.

"*snicker* 'Smoke their fags'... *snicker*"
Okay, "fags" is Irish/English slang for "cigarettes", NOT what you're thinking. I don't mean it as an offensive term for gay people, it has absolutely no connection in this context.

"Um, how do you pronounce those names?"
A large amount of the names in this story are traditional Irish Gaelic ones, and they can be a little tricky. Here's a handy list.
Sinead: shin-aid
Siobhan: shiv-awn
Padraig: porr-ig (yes, the d is silent. live with it.)
Micheál: mee-haul
Aoife: ee-fah
Fionnuala: finn-oo-la (her nickname is Nuala, which is pronounced noo-la)

"yaddayaddayadda, i'm writing my comment... NORTHERN IRELAND.... commenting..."
This doesn't take place in Northern Ireland, all right? The British-Irish conflict of the 1920s happened all over the island. I'm not sure if people are confusing the Irish Revolution with the Northern Ireland Troubles (which took place a good 50 years later), but, um... yeah, County Clare is in the west of Ireland, this is set in the 1920s, Northern Ireland won't come into play at any point during this novel. I do have another story in the works about the Northern Ireland Troubles (still an incredibly stupid name for what was basically a civil war), called "Starved", that's set in the early 80s. But this is different.

"GAHH I don't understand Irish politics!"
That's okay, honey, I don't understand a whole lot either. Well, I have the basic knowledge required for this book. The companion book, "The Revolutionary", will focus a lot more on the politics. Here's the basics: Sinn Féin (pronounced shin fan) is a political party, not a person. I know it totally sounds like it could be, but it's not. They still exist in Ireland today, and are equivalent to the Democratic Party in America, although Sinn Féin leans a *little* further to the left. In 1919, the members of this political party created the Dáil Éireann (pronounced dwal erin, roughly), which was basically a Parliament/House of Representatives sort of thing. There were politicians elected to the Dáil who were not part of Sinn Féin, but the Feinians did have the majority during the Irish Revolution. The Irish Civil War, which took place right after the Revolution, kinda switched stuff up a bit, but that's not going to be in the book for a while.
During the Revolution, Eamon de Valera was president of the Irish Republic, and Michael Collins was the commander of the IRA. After the Civil War, de Valera and Collins were on opposite sides, BUT... that will be addressed much later in the book, so don't lose sleep over it just yet.

"ooh, cool Irish word... a mhuirnín... how do you pronounce it?"
Yes, Gaelic is a weird language. "a mhuirnín" translates to "my darling" or "my sweetheart", and is pronounced "ah wer-nihn".
Also, "Erin Go Bragh" translates to "Ireland forever", although that's already pretty well known. It's pronounced "erin go brah".

Have any other questions? Message me or leave a comment, and I'll address it here.

One last little note:
IF YOU LIKE IT, PICK IT. That's kind of the point of picking things. People keep telling me that this needs to get into the top 5... but it's not going to get there if you don't pick. Even if your TS rank isn't high... every pick counts. So please... if you like it, please pick!

report abuse

Broadway Baby

wrote 2 days ago

This is one of those rare books which I wish I had written. Lovely.

report abuse

WillyJo

wrote 3 days ago

hey lol ~swap~ time ^^
sorry it took so long >.<"
ok the first chapter was very interesting. no major spelling or grammar errors i could spot right away. so big plus!
umm the names i couldn't really pronouce or try to make out lol but thats just random :D (ps. i actually tried lol)
um the way the girl speaks is a little weird but it really doesn't affect the story at all. i really much do like the plot!! Nothing really to complain!
you are an awesome writer and don't ever stop! :D
~Will.

report abuse

SmallTownGirl1993

wrote 4 days ago

I've read the first chapter and thought it was intresting. I like any story line that is about a girl who breaks the mold set for her. The way the characters speak is a little weird, but that's just me. I did like it, it caught me attention, and I can't wait to read more. Good job.

report abuse

aparizek

wrote 5 days ago

Truthfully, I have a slight bias because I don't normally read historical books, or really, books involving the war. They tend to have a lot of cliche, sappy speeches, I might die situations etc. I should probably mention that the bias is for this book, because since I don't like the way historically based books are written, I'm impressed by your writing style. It kept me reading about a topic that I am not all that interested in. Anyway, from what books I've read in the genre, I think you have a very good piece.

I think starting the story from the death was very clever, because of the immediate capturing event. You have great character development. I could feel the transitions in the characters' personalities as the war influenced them more and more. In the first chapter, I really liked Cahal and thought he was a good guy, but as time progressed and he became more immersed in the war I could see his character changing and, in my opinion, deteriorating. Personally, I never really liked Declan so even though I could tell his character was hardening, it didn't much affect my opinion of him. Sinead is really interesting because I pictured her as extremely dependent and didn't like that she didn't stand up for herself. Througout the course of the first part it seems almost like she not only got stronger but weaker at the same time. What I mean is she becomes more outspoken and true to her beliefs yet exhausted and worn down by the ongoing war. I really like Sinead and I feel like she's growing over the first part and beginning of the second. I think you do a brilliant job of portraying your characters. Even if the conclusions I've drawn are wrong, the fact that I came to them and was so involved in the story I think is a commdation for you. There were times where I wished I could be there just so I could punch them or tell them off(Particularly when the men said it was no place for her and another when he said she was selfish). Your story evokes strong emotions and is extremely provocative.

There were a few sentences that had tense changes, mispellings, and misplaced words (At least I think their misplaced, if not I apologize, I must be reading it wrong and that's why it seems weird). "But he didn't seen to have..." should be seem, "many children, weary mothers and father who..." fathers, "the pin was attacked to the collar..." tacked, I doubt someone had a grudge :). There is one place where it says "I asked" and then immediately after "'I'm not sure,' I replied" which should be he replied. "Weren't seen together every minute of every day, liked how Declan..." "simply gave me new fiance..." There is a tense change in "Da places his hands on my shoulders and kissed the top..." placed, "insisting me to bring it to Siobhan..." "Even thought Padraig had been dead for..." though. Okay, those are my suggestions please don't take a pitchfork to me ;)

I think you have a really good writing style and really encourage you to finish the next two parts. The second part has an amazing beginning by the way definitely interesting and Da is really already scaring me and Sinead's actions so far have increased my respect for her.

alex

report abuse

aparizek

wrote 5 days ago

Truthfully, I have a slight bias because I don't normally read historical books, or really, books involving the war. They tend to have a lot of cliche, sappy speeches, I might die situations etc. I should probably mention that the bias is for this book, because since I don't like the way historically based books are written, I'm impressed by your writing style. It kept me reading about a topic that I am not all that interested in. Anyway, from what books I've read in the genre, I think you have a very good piece.

I think starting the story from the death was very clever, because of the immediate capturing event. You have great character development. I could feel the transitions in the characters' personalities as the war influenced them more and more. In the first chapter, I really liked Cahal and thought he was a good guy, but as time progressed and he became more immersed in the war I could see his character changing and, in my opinion, deteriorating. Personally, I never really liked Declan so even though I could tell his character was hardening, it didn't much affect my opinion of him. Sinead is really interesting because I pictured her as extremely dependent and didn't like that she didn't stand up for herself. Througout the course of the first part it seems almost like she not only got stronger but weaker at the same time. What I mean is she becomes more outspoken and true to her beliefs yet exhausted and worn down by the ongoing war. I really like Sinead and I feel like she's growing over the first part and beginning of the second. I think you do a brilliant job of portraying your characters. Even if the conclusions I've drawn are wrong, the fact that I came to them and was so involved in the story I think is a commdation for you. There were times where I wished I could be there just so I could punch them or tell them off(Particularly when the men said it was no place for her and another when he said she was selfish). Your story evokes strong emotions and is extremely provocative.

There were a few sentences that had tense changes, mispellings, and misplaced words (At least I think their misplaced, if not I apologize, I must be reading it wrong and that's why it seems weird). "But he didn't seen to have..." should be seem, "many children, weary mothers and father who..." fathers, "the pin was attacked to the collar..." tacked, I doubt someone had a grudge :). There is one place where it says "I asked" and then immediately after "'I'm not sure,' I replied" which should be he replied. "Weren't seen together every minute of every day, liked how Declan..." "simply gave me new fiance..." There is a tense change in "Da places his hands on my shoulders and kissed the top..." placed, "insisting me to bring it to Siobhan..." "Even thought Padraig had been dead for..." though. Okay, those are my suggestions please don't take a pitchfork to me ;)

I think you have a really good writing style and really encourage you to finish the next two parts. The second part has an amazing beginning by the way definitely interesting and Da is really already scaring me and Sinead's actions so far have increased my respect for her.

alex

report abuse

sunshine:xX

wrote 6 days ago

I have not read all that far into your story yet, ut I must say it is one of my favorites and is deffinately going onto my pick list! Everything about the story so far draws me in, and I cant get enough! I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the story soon(:

report abuse

FutureWriter

wrote 6 days ago

Sorry it took so long to return our swap! But here I am, returning our swap!!!
-Some of the names atre hard to prounce.
-it is unique. You don't find many stories about war anymore.
-only a few gramicial mistakes, good.

D.M.

report abuse

astrid_ofcourse

wrote 8 days ago

Well, I know it took me a while to get to reading this for our swap, but here I am!
(My internet has been really annoyingly-not-working-well lately, but anyway)
Wow! To be honest, I really didn't want to read this at first..I don't really like historical fiction. But I try to read everything that everyone asks me to, and mann, am I glad!!!! This is amazing!!! Right now I just finished Chapter Five, and I love it!!
Like, when I was at the part when Declan told her he was going to join the IRA, I was not happy with him, even though I already knew it was gonna happen beforehand :D
And the part where Declan's parents find them kissing made me laugh. (:
I WANT TO READ MORE!!! haha and I will as soon as I finish this comment.
Okay, I did notice a few things. This was a couple days ago, so I don't know if you've fixed them, I didn't check...but yeah.
~'Declan didn't respond, and began wondering if I even wanted an answer.' there should be an "I" in there, between the 'and' and 'began'~ (Chapter 3) Plus, I don't know, but I don't think the italicization on the word "wanted" was really needed there either.
And I noticed that you say it like three or four times in two chapters that everyone goes to the pub during tragedy...I'm not sure if that's just me, but it seemed a little much.
And I was wondering why Nuala gets so angry so quickly about the Cumann na mban thing. I don't know; it just seemed a little sudden. Maybe she has a motive or something. I dunno, I'm not the author. You are. Haha (:
Yes, well I love it! It's getting picked! Right as soon as I submit this comment!
-Astrid

report abuse

dobbytheninja

wrote 8 days ago

Oolala, this is awesome! Okay, so I'm one hundred percent American, and I had absolutely no idea who "Mam" was. It took me like ten minutes to understand that it was the mom. Hahahaha, but this story is so much fun. I read your note, and so I know you know that a lot of readers don't know about Irish politicians and such, but because of that fact, I felt like it was a little rocky to read for me personally. I do feel smart when I read it, though.
DECLAN DECLAN DECLAN DECLAN DECLAN DECLAN.
I'm already in love with him. He's so likable. And the dialogue! All I can say is, God bless the Irish.
When I get an open spot, yours is the first book that I'll pick.

report abuse

Mdaisey

wrote 8 days ago

I like this! I haven't read a story about war in a long time and I absolutely loved it!

report abuse

Nick Compton

wrote 8 days ago

Very nice! I haven't read a story this good in awhile! I love the originality of it, the detail of it, the emotion that just flows through it. And I didn't even get a chance to read that far in. After I come back from vacation I am definitely reading more of this.
Picked and watched. Can't wait for more!
I can't find anything to criticize!

report abuse

Stephanie Zinda

wrote 9 days ago

Just read the first chapter and it is already amazing!
You know exactly how to let people know the information straight
and may I say that it is very smart of you to start the story how
you did. Fantastic!
I am definetly going to be reading the rest of this.
Can't wait. You are a good writer for this genre.

report abuse

lithuanian_booberry

wrote 9 days ago

i would like to say that i will read this entire book. i would like to say that, but i would be lying. before you read my comment, remember you won't please all your readers.

i read chapter one but just couldnt get into it. it isnt because its not well written, its just that it isnt my kind of book. it didnt grab me at any point. you wrote it well, but it doesnt peak my interest. besides i dont hav the attention span to sit down and read a book online.

report abuse

Jessi Thorne

wrote 9 days ago

i started this planning to only read a page or so, and just carried on reading! this is a really good book and i can't wait to read the rest! at the moment i can't find any errors so nice job! :D thanks for the swap and i hope you enjoy my book as much as i enjoyed this! jessi :)

report abuse

Swanieriver911

wrote 9 days ago

For the swap (sorry it took a while i'm really busy and it took me a while to read the whole story)
-i liked how you portrayed the time period and the culture was really realistic to me.
-I think you did a really good job with people reactions like when Ms. Maroney found out about her husband's death and how Declan acted after fighting for a while.
-I liked the scene when she confronts her brother in chapter two, It made her look a little bit immature but worried, which made it clear how she was maturing in the story. :)
I really liked it, you did a great job.

report abuse

Grace Forester

wrote 9 days ago

Wow, well, that was very impressive. When I first started reading it, I wasn't sure, but you've captured my interested very quickly. I love how you can put so much emotion about the war into your story. Not only did Cahal's speeches speak to the soldiers, but it made me feel like I was there too, listening and getting that same desire for Ireland to become free. Well done and great story line.

Grace Forester

report abuse

Kurt 58

wrote 11 days ago

....grabs the reader quick...a true page turner
....great stuff!!!!

report abuse

Smilie People

wrote 12 days ago

Definitely an enjoyable read :D And very realistic - you obviously know you're stuff when it comes to Ireland's history. The story gripped me from the beginning and your characters are likable and relatable because they all have their faults as well as good qualities. Also, I appreciated how you used slang specific to both the time and place, I've read way too many books where English people speak American slang all the time :p

I look forward to reading more :)

report abuse

FreshPress

wrote 13 days ago

"The Roses" has a very unique storyline, which is crucial to stand out in today's world. I like the plot you chose to tell, and how you're including little-known facts about Ireland's history in your story. I've learned a lot about their war for independence just by reading your story summary and Chapter 1. The character names you chose are also very unique and memorable. So far, the story is very genuine and authentic.

However, I think you can improve on plot buildup. For example, when Cahal goes to tell Ms. Maroney that her husband's died, it seems a little rushed and abrupt in places. Otherwise I find this story very inspiring and moving.

report abuse

marco1628

wrote 13 days ago

I think it's beautifully written:) I love it!

report abuse

catisue22

wrote 13 days ago

Wow... wow. I'm in awe. How do you have such talent Dr.? This is written beautifully. The only advice I have for this chapter is for the "sweetheart" nickname. I think they should switch out nicknames so you don't hear sweetheart too often. :) Other than that I LOVEEE chapter 2. <3

report abuse

Angelfowl

wrote 14 days ago

~For Swap~

First off, Sorry this is so late. Real Life kicks my butt at times.

I read the first chapter of the story, it is very interesting. I do not normally like Historical Fiction but from what I read, you have done a very good job at this one. It's very realistic and I enjoyed what I have read. Little slow in the start, but very good all the same.
Unfortunately I have nothing bad to say about this... sorry.

Picked~

~Angel

report abuse

Leisie93

wrote 14 days ago

Wow. Excellent story. The begining really grabbed me, which is always important. Don't use the word TRIED in italics to emphasize the that you really did try if you already used italics for special words like War and LIFE. Great use of irony when the girl said said that she rebelled against your brother like any proper sister should. I was very confused whether cahal was her brother or boyfriend. I figured it out by the end, though. Just a simple idea, maybe you could try writing the whole thing or the dilougue in an Irish dialect. But that's just something to think about. It was gripping and moving and I told you about my personal picking policy, but this deserves to be up there.

report abuse

Rawrr_im_Rainn

wrote 14 days ago

I Love it already! I am still reading, but it is writen very well and it has a very nice flow! :) i am so excited to keep reading!

report abuse

Curtis Rainey

wrote 14 days ago

Okay just finished it all! Took me a while I got there (and it was worth it)..
Deirdre I really enjoyed this book, I'm more a fantasy/adventure person, but your writing, and the way you use it is so interesting. The fist chapter I liked. I actuallly liked the whole thing,when its all completetd Im definetly reading it. My mother would probably be able to relate to this book more than me, but it was nice to hear names like "Declan" That reminded me of Ireland, when i HAVE A FREE SPACE THIS IS GOING STRAIGHT ON THE PICKLIST! :)
I think this is an excellent story about old Ireland! (= and i enjoyed reading it, and being able to relate!
Your Swap was amazing (=

- Curtis
P.S (Please read "Elements: Gift of Nature") xD . . .

report abuse

Beatrix.Renning

wrote 15 days ago

I think it's interesting. Beautifully written. It paints a clear picture that keeps readers reading. Having said that, I can't wait for more. It's not usually what I read but you've got me hooked.

report abuse

Jeannie Gianni

wrote 15 days ago

This is such an interesting topic, and I am thrilled that you are diving into it. You have a great way of combining the important emotions which are involved in a war story: the tension, suspense and of course, to relieve some pressure, some romance. I really think that you have a great writing style! Congrats on all of your success. You deserve it.

report abuse

JulianaNatalie

wrote 15 days ago

This story is pretty good, and I like the way it actually seems like you're in the 1920's of Ireland. I like how the settings and characters tie together. Everythingsis pretty good.

report abuse

JulianaNatalie

wrote 15 days ago

This story is pretty good, and I like the way it actually seems like you're in the 1920's of Ireland. I like how the settings and characters tie together. Everythingsis pretty good.

report abuse

Larissa Malia Nobles

wrote 15 days ago

for the swap: sorry it took so long
i've never really read any historical fiction before, unless it's been for school, so i was interested in reading yours. you have a very clear writing style, and as far as i can see free of gramatical errors.
as faras the story goes, (i read all of chapter 1) it's well described, mixing in the history of it and the introduction of the characters. i find that i can relate to sinead because of her relationship w/ her brother cahal. and i like the interaction with declan too.
i'll be back to read more of this and when i rotate my picks again, it'll be on there. (:

report abuse

csimone

wrote 15 days ago

I really like that you use Irish dialect and names to enhance the beauty of your story :) From the beginning, the information of the IRA and Cooraclare's background paints a story within a story. It's very exciting to read, even though the beginning begins with death and I will be reading more soon :)

report abuse

4beegirl

wrote 15 days ago

Chapter One
Initial thoughts
I like your use of real Irish names, even if they are difficult to say.  Maybe you can give a pronunciation guide for those who don’t know the Irish pronunciation? “Siobhan” looks odd but “shə-vawn” sounds beautiful. Same with “Sinead” / “shi-nayd.”
“Determined to rebel against my brother like any proper sister would” – great line! 
“Everyone had always told me I was naïve.” – Great foreshadowing.
Chapter Two
Um, yeah. The “f” word…doesn’t need to be there. Out of character for Sinead.
I really dislike this scene with her brother and her arguing so violently. I understand there are high emotions but…this feels very forced and makes Sinead incredibly unlikeable. (You don’t have to change it because of my opinion.)

I'll continue reading but I wanted to give you these comments now. :)
There's a lot of strong emotion in the story and you've obviously done your homework on the history of Ireland and the IRA. This is very good writing.

-Melissa

report abuse

shiningfootstepsx

wrote 15 days ago

Heyy drsheridan,

Its fine, there's no need for a swap read (or whatever its called). I'm more than happy to read yours.

At first, when I read the blurb, to be honest, I wasn't really sucked into the story. I'm not a big fan of war stories, probably because I prefer teen and romance more. But after reading your first chapter, I'd love to admit that it was extremely worth reading. :)

I loved how when Cahal was comforting Mrs. Maroney, you used the simile to describe how like a father comforts his child during a thunderstorm. I thought that was really powerful because after reading that simile, I could really imagine the scene and felt moved by it. That simile was exceedingly powerful.

Other than that, I think its a really exciting story so far. I'm looking forward to the next chapters. Keep up the good work!

Love,
shiningfootstepsx

report abuse

yellowpixie96

wrote 15 days ago

Surprisingly very intresting! I was a little unsure about it at first, but once i got into it, i enjoyed it =). I added it to my watchlist, and it will be added to my picks soon

report abuse

Shenandoah

wrote 15 days ago

First off, major points for writing about Ireland, and history. Your langugae seems like a mix of irish and modern, idk if people in the 1920's said they'd or wasn't. If they did then my bad, but there seems to be more of a modern influence in the dialouge. Other then that little tid bit i really liked the first chapter i love how you ended it and now i have to keep reading.

report abuse

mscheponik

wrote 15 days ago

So, I know I read this and commented on the first chapter or so sometime before, a few months ago or whatever. And I remember saying how I always wanted to come back and read more but never did, and now finally, here I am. Which is way overdue, but the story did hold my attention when I first read it and I did want to read more.

Typo in ch.9: 'Despite the early hour, Da was still sitting at the kitchen [table], staring at the bloody handkerchief, taking long gulps of whiskey.'
"How's Mam doing?" [he] asked quietly.
And the sentence, 'Declan closed his eyes and tilted his head' is repeated twice.

Usually, I end pausing in the middle of reading and write big long rambles about how much I love this part or that of the story I'm reading, but honestly, I read this straight through ch.11 without taking any break to write out lengthy, heaps-of-praise comments, and that's not because I don't have things to praise. It's actually the exact opposite; I ended up so engrossed and interested in reading more of the story that I didn't bother to pause. I need it to be tomorrow night so that I can swap something out of my picks and add this to it. I'm not sure whether or not I added it there the first time I read it, but I want to make sure I give it its very well-deserved points if I haven't already. Because, honestly, you have an amazing story written here. Like I'm sure I mentioned the first time reading it, I've always had a soft-spot for well-crafted historical fiction as long as it grasped my attention, and this really fits the bill of the kind of historical fiction I love to stumble across. It's obvious you've worked ridiculously hard to keep this as accurate as you can and to craft it so well, and I applaud you for that. The dedication paid off in your favor, definitely. SO, SO glad I sat down and finished this, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd message me if/when you add more on here.

Other than the extremely strong writing, what really kept me drawn into the story are all the characters you've created. They have realistic relationships with each other, they have flaws, they have dreams and hopes, even if they love each other they still get into fights or disagreements, they're just very real. And if it's one thing I love more than any kind of plot in a story, it's reading about characters that have depth to them, characters that COULD be real if the story wasn't fiction, and I feel yours are very much like that. And all the interactions between the characters, too, how well developed every last relationship is, even the platonic ones. I loved reading them. All the moments between Sinead and Declan - you can see how much they care about each other, how sometimes they take things out on each other like a real couple, and how much they just wish all this fighting could end but they lose hope that it will. The relationship between Sinead and her brother really stuck out to me, too. I have an older brother, so I'm used to the thing where your brother ends up being so protective of you that you want to strangle him, but some of their moments fighting just broke my heart. They both just want each other to be safe so much that they keep fighting. And the last scene in ch.11 is SO heartbreaking. Sinead finally got her hope of getting married restored again after doubting it, and now she has to worry about how her and her father are going to pay for their living. All these struggles just come across so real; it's brilliant.

Okay, so I really just rambled endlessly about all the positives of this, and I know how that annoys people sometimes in comments, but I can't really think of something that I felt needed to be changed. OH, wait, I did have a minor suggestion...I kinda wanted to see more of Sinead working in her position as a courier. She delivers the fags that first time, and then there's the one other journey she makes after they get the bike, but I dunno, I mean everything's fine as is. I guess I kept expecting something dangerous WOULD happen to her since everyone kept worrying about it. Now, I'm worrying just like the characters. xD Anyway, I'm sorry this isn't much of a constructive comment, but I didn't want to just read it and not leave my feedback, even if it is all positive. Hopefully knowing what I thought worked so well is at least mildly helpful in someway. There's just not any negative I could pinpoint.

This will be on my Picks tomorrow night sometime. Gauruntee it. :)

report abuse

3MO_B3AR

wrote 16 days ago

i totally loved the book!.. lol i just got my sis to read it when i was in the shower and tell me about it when i was dressed and ready.. lol is that cheating?? i hope not.. i'm kinda happy my sis is kinda like you.. she LOVES history things like this.. she adores harry potter over twilight any day... i'm the opposite of her and we go at each other at times.. but most of the time we're laid back... but anyway.. i totally loved the book the way she told me about it.. and i'm going to read it in the morning.. i can't wait to read it! i hope all of those swaps and all of that working during the week is going to pay off soon!!

report abuse

3MO_B3AR

wrote 16 days ago

i totally loved the book!.. lol i just got my sis to read it when i was in the shower and tell me about it when i was dressed and ready.. lol is that cheating?? i hope not.. i'm kinda happy my sis is kinda like you.. she LOVES history things like this.. she adores harry potter over twilight any day... i'm the opposite of her and we go at each other at times.. but most of the time we're laid back... but anyway.. i totally loved the book the way she told me about it.. and i'm going to read it in the morning.. i can't wait to read it! i hope all of those swaps and all of that working during the week is going to pay off soon!!

report abuse

VictoriaHogan

wrote 16 days ago

Just reading about Ireland gives my heart a lift. As the great granddaughter of an Irishman, I've heard firsthand stories of the Isle and the wars it's been through. I'm happy to see a historical novel that is written well and written accurately. Sheridan, you've impressed me. Definitely a Pick for me. :)

report abuse

Christine A. Stiffler

wrote 16 days ago

I just finished reading chapter two. This was even better than the first! You're really creative, I must say. There weren't any problems that I could find in this chapter, so good job. :)
I'm picking this.
-Christine

report abuse

Christine A. Stiffler

wrote 16 days ago

I just finished reading the first chapter. It was really good - there weren't any grammatical issues or anything like that, you just put the period after the quotation marks twice. The first time was when one of the soldiers said that Sinead "wasn't a threat." and the other was when everyone was in the pub and they started to sing "The Wind That Shakes The Barley." Declan is really sweet :D (Gosh, I just love that name so much!) Anyway...on to chapter two.

report abuse

dawnsy

wrote 16 days ago

Wow this is adventurous so far. I hope Sinead comes out on top. This is going on my watch list

report abuse

TrishTheFish

wrote 16 days ago

I love it! I read the whole thing so far. It seems that Declan is kind of up and down, you never know when he'll snap...he's making me nervous that he's going to call off or something. =) I love the questions swarming around and I can't wait until it gets updated.

report abuse

Lunae Lux

wrote 16 days ago

For our swap.
So sorry it took forever and I'm only on the second chapter, but it's pulling me in. Have yet to read an inkpop that really does that. Glad there's a historical fiction story that the author has done research on. The words and, um, values (? right word?) they have and use are very authentic, wonderful.
I feel really stupid asking this, but what does the IRA stand for? It sounds like the IRS, which is not a good thing....
I love how the way people view women in this is very '20s, when women were just starting to get a major hand in things. It's perfect.
Declan and Sinead. Now one of my favorite pairings. It's not like Bella/Edward stuff, it's true childhood sweethearts, not really like they absolutely need each other or there will be a "big aching hole" in their chest. It's real, and it's sweet. :)
That's it for the second chapter.
Oh, and Cahal is horrible. Just saying. Not horrible writing, but horrible personality here. Love it.

report abuse

Juliet Steele

wrote 17 days ago

Wow!
I have not come across true historical fiction here on inkpop yet and it's a genre that's always caught my attention. I read the first chapter and this story is captivating and amazing! You are a truly amazing writer and incorporating all the facts? Marvelous! No wonder this has such a high ranking!
Declan is amazing...i love their relationship.
This is fantastic and I hope you can get this published one day. I'm picking it and might come back for more later!!!
JULIET

report abuse

heureviolet

wrote 17 days ago

This is awesome! I do love historical fiction/romance, and if it's set during The Troubles, even better!

report abuse

eclipse24

wrote 18 days ago

Hi! For our swap (I'm so sorry it took so long for me to get to you, I haven't been on and reading swaps for a few days): I read chapter one of your book and let's just say I'll be back to read more sometime soon. :) This is really good. I really like stories with lots of details, I don't know why, I just do. LOL Any way, great story, I don't have any thing negative to say about it. This is going on my watch list! :) Great job!!

Stay Gold,
Lauren~~eclipse24

report abuse

Luna Lovegood

wrote 18 days ago

Hey, I'm here for our swap. (Sorry it took so long- I haven't been able to get on for a few days, and I never had time to read it).

This is...wow. I just can't even write everything I like about it. The descriptions are vivid, the words you use are amazing, and I love your style! It's so smooth, so flowing. I didn't find any grammatical errors but maybe I just suck at that. Anway, I couldn't find much wrong and although I didn't read the whole thing, I read till chapter 4 and I absolutely love it. :)
Thank you for swapping with me! You can choose whichever of mine to comment on for your swap, but please only out of the ORIGINAL Pictures of You or Finding Abby.
thanks :)

~Luna

report abuse

Tayven Godfrey

wrote 18 days ago

For our swap! This was really good! I loved the Irish accent to writing had to it, I've always wanted to be Irish:)
I find that our writing is some what similair, and i like it! It actually kinda creeps me out! In a good way!
I usually don't like fiction and war/history books, but this was really good! Sorry, but it's not my genre, but it was a really great book for the category! I hope you keep writing, because I know you will get published some day if you keep it up!

report abuse

C. D. Verhoff

wrote 19 days ago

Excellent writing as usual, drsheridan. I have a friend who used to be a member of the IRA. To say he has some interesting stories is an understatement, so I was naturally interested in the topic. Good job (btw, this is a freebie, I'm not looking for a return read).

report abuse

inkpop: The Online Community of Rising Stars in Teen Lit

The Roses of Cooraclare

comments

spread the word about inkpop:

Sign in to inkpop

Already on inkpop?

Join Inkpop