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Book Jacket

Editors Picktop pick

Word Count

43148

Date submitted

11.26.2009

Date Updated

04.03.2010

Generation XX

by Dinnertime

Book: General Fiction, Science Fiction/Fantasy, Romance

Tully and Ro are two teenagers in love, but in plague-devastated 2038, the world Government has restrictions on romance.

At the start of the decades that spawned Generation XX, a new mosquito virus rendered the human Y chromosome frail, leading to a generation of three girls to every boy.

Tarot Durkiss (Ro) is a sixteen year old girl determined not to follow the path of most of her female peers in competing for a husband. But she's confused by the new boy at school, Tully McFarland, the foster kid whose passion for risk matches her own.

Tully and Ro are thrown together in an explosive summer when a new wave of mosquito virus bears down. Together, Tully and Ro are dangerous - dangerous enough to concern the newly elected Future Family party, who have come into power in many countries around the world.

But when Tully trades love for control in order to keep Ro safe, Tully and Ro will oppose each other in a battle of minds and hearts that will captivate the world, and change the destiny of Generation XX forever.

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HarperCollins

wrote

From the very beginning of Generation XX, I was drawn into Tarot's world. Your writing immediately puts the reader into the middle of a universe that is both completely foreign and entirely familiar at the same time which grabs your attention from the beginning. The characters all sprang to life right away and I found myself genuinely invested in their stories and their fates very early on into the novel. There were also lots of very brave, bold moments in the story telling that had me absolutely hooked.

Beginning with the overall concept, I loved the idea of a plague having wiped out the 'Y' chromosome leaving all girls behind. It seemed utterly believable and set up a rich dystopian vision of the future which I thought you handled very well. There was just the right mix of an unsettling future and recognizable life to keep teens and older readers invested in the stories – I loved that even though people had wrist viewers and holo cubes, their primary use was making out and watching porn; a great example of how technology advances but human nature remains the same! The whole world reminded me of a Margaret Atwood novel, as did the idea of seeing a huge shift in the future of humanity through the eyes of one girl and how her life was changed affected by these cultural shifts.

With regards to characters, I liked Tarot but felt like there was so much more I wanted to know about her. I would recommend slowing down the pacing of the first few chapters to let us get to know her a little more. You're introducing so much, as well as the characters and the plot, the reader has to get used to this new futuristic landscape also. Give them more time to see the differences between Tarot's old world and her new town. She makes references to how incredibly different it is and yet she adjusts almost immediately – I'd like to see her getting to know her new friends, feeling uncomfortable around the boys, exploring the town. You have some beautiful imagery in the story, I'd like more of that description. Also, the sentences at the beginning can be a little short and static which holds up the flow, this goes away further into the novel but it can have the effect of making Tarot seem sullen and awkward in the beginning rather than trapped and frustrated.
The romance with Tully also needs to be played up more. Tarot seems to give into him very easily – could they have more interaction, more private moments? The 'superhero hair' comment threw me a little. I couldn't work out if Tully genuinely cared about Tarot or if he just wanted something physical, this could be made more intense, more romantic. Forbidden love is a great plot device and theirs is perfect – use it.

My favorite parts of the story were the attempted rape scene and the ending. I thought that Toad Licker's attack was handled perfectly and with unsettling realism. I really felt myself in Tarot's position, desperate and afraid, it was brilliantly written. I also love the ending – it's a brave writer that ignores the happy ending and shows a grim reality, albeit an ambiguous one. Again, this really reminded me of Margaret Atwood's writing.

Dinnertime

wrote 211 days ago

3 March - The last of the chapters I'm adding are unedited, so if they read a bit wobbly, you'll know why :-)

12 Jan - At the moment I'm doing a rewrite of my story just to make the first chapters cleaner and not quite so busy. (They seem busy to me :-) ) The chapters after ch. 22 become increasingly intense and I want a cleaner framework.

I want to thank everyone who read, commented on, or supported Generation XX - so thank you!!!!
I'm amazed at being one of the 'top picks' as my focus on joining was on feedback only.

At the moment, I'm busy returning reads to everyone who has commented below. I take time reading projects, so my progress isn't superwoman-fast :-) If I happen to overlook anything or anyone - just message! I'm going comment-by-comment though, so I shouldn't miss anyone :-)

Oh, and take me off any pick lists!!

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The Butterfly Effect

wrote 223 days ago

AHHH! I just love this story SO SO much!!! I love the plot, the writing, the characters, and how believable it all is...and i love that you've written the 'blood pact' out! I read it all again last night, and am now waiting for you to update!;) I adored the scene between Tully and Ro at the end...;D

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safs

wrote 240 days ago

Wow, this is incredibly original. I have no idea how you came up with the plot but it is fantastic! I also loved the way you wrote it. I can definately see why it's so high up on the picks

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Paige Turner

wrote 233 days ago

I love this sooooooo much. All my favorite books- Test, Leaving Simplicity, Everlost, Among the Hidden- are something the lines of futuristic dramas, and this fits right in. I wouldn't be at all surprised to see it on a shelf in a bookstore. I'm super-excited to see what will happen next. Every chance I get I refresh to see if there are any updates. Today I got in trouble at school for going online to check during my Computer Dimensions class. Whoops. But there really isn't anything I'd change. The way the scenes merge into each other are impressive, and aside from a little polishing here and there that I can't put my finger on (I know- helpful, right?), I absolutely adore it. I can't stress this enough. The plot is unique, but standard (in the best way! Because face it- not many publishers will be looking for something completely unheard of). It's so close to the Top Picks, and I can't wait 'til it gets there. I'm posting this to Facebook. =D

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Muse

wrote 15 days ago

This is a great story.
Are you going to finish it?

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Wild Thing

wrote 21 days ago

Chapter 25 was brilliant! 'Have your bowels been open..' -loved it.

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Wild Thing

wrote 21 days ago

Chapter 25 was brilliant! 'Have your bowels been open..' -loved it.

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Wild Thing

wrote 22 days ago

Chapter 24 was awesome.

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Wild Thing

wrote 22 days ago

Nice job on chapter 22.

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Wild Thing

wrote 25 days ago

Chapter twenty was really good.

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it.is.Masquerade

wrote 26 days ago

Wow, I've only read the first chapter and I'm so intrigued. :)
This is a unique story.
Love it. Also, it's written well and I like futuristic stories.
I'm watching your book and it's picked! :P
I'll come back to read more!

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Wild Thing

wrote 26 days ago

Chapter 13 was really good.

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Wild Thing

wrote 26 days ago

Chapter ten was short. =)

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Wild Thing

wrote 26 days ago

Nice job on chapter 9!!!

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Rachiee

wrote 27 days ago

This is intense! Really, this is an insane idea here, insane! I really love it though!
There was a typo in chapter one you have ,.
-Rachiee;

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Wild Thing

wrote 36 days ago

Chapter 8 was good.

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Wild Thing

wrote 36 days ago

Chapter 8 was good.

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Wild Thing

wrote 37 days ago

This just keeps getting better and better! I just finished chapter 7 and I loved it!!!

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Wild Thing

wrote 37 days ago

This is really good. I'm only through chapter 5 and I'm hooked.

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Author S M Johnston

wrote 38 days ago

I love the names you have used, and your desciptions of Australia are beautiful!! A great speculative fiction tale.

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Toranaga-sama

wrote 60 days ago

Firstly, I loved the story. You drew me into Ro's world and I was hooked. My favourite pRt was the ending, so sad, but still shows a chance for everything to work out. I think you're a brilliant writer, but my advice is to SLOW DOWN. Things seem to jump around a bit, and a bit disconnected. Otherwise, the story was beautiful.

~ Owl-sama

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rose_belikov

wrote 113 days ago

I LOVE the ending. It just sums the whole thing up perfectly.

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rose_belikov

wrote 113 days ago

I LOVE the ending. It just sums the whole thing up perfectly.

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Annibal

wrote 118 days ago

This story is so freaking awesome. Congrats on getting picked! :D

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kevinwong_HoD

wrote 143 days ago

This is an intriguing tale. It shows a stark vision of a future that seems dark even though no boys - who can create darkness - are around. The title matches that theme perfectly. I read the HarperCollins' review, and it seems like they are suggesting they liked the darkest aspects of your story - almost like they wanted to read more action and horror-film type stuff. You could go that way, or you could go with a little more light and perhaps make the heroine more a hero rather than just a person. It's your book and it's your call. I recommend that you tailor it to the publisher / agent you think can work with you and your story.

Yours Truly,

Kevin Wong
Author of Heroes of Destiny

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Reney47

wrote 153 days ago

I've only just started, but I'm seriously loving this piece of work.
The imagery is outstanding, especially when you describe each girl of the little sisterhood and their personalities.
Well done!

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V.Lie27

wrote 158 days ago

(I only read chapters 28-29 but am definitely going to put you on my watch list and start from the beginning!)

Just jumping into the story, you've still got me hooked. Your characters all have distinctive personalities which definitely makes for an interesting read.

I love your imagery and descriptions:
'I started to feel I was haunting the city, running in the shadows, always seeking'
'Two dogs lay curled up in a tangle of overgrown grass. Bugs and maggots spilled from their rust-dark flesh.'

I especially love the contrast between Tully and Tarot. It definitely propels the story and keeps the reader interested (well, me anyways) I'm also a huge fan of music and thought you did a great job of describing the feelings of being on stage and playing

'But there was something about the acoustic sound of the guitars that was raw and honest, and the music grew on me'
'It felt good, exorcising demons and blotting out everything else'

It's a great, easy read that really keeps you wanting more. I don't really have anything negative to say about these two chapters, but when I start reading from the beginning later, I'll let you know what chapter and what I think you could improve on. This is a great story. Can't wait for more!!!

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TomW

wrote 164 days ago

Comments on Chapters 1-5...

Well, this is a nice easy read (and I mean that in a good way). The voice is comfortable, if a touch edgy, but easy to love. You've obviously worked hard on the tightness, and I didn't notice any problems with grammar or spelling.

Some observations I made in reading.

1. Do you need so many girls in the sisterhood? By this, I mean it's hard to remember who is who, and you only introduced three or four upfront. A piece of advice I was once given: use as few (main) characters as you can to convey your story*. The less you can get away with, the better a reader will be able to focus on those you keep.

* Obviously a murder mystery needs more characters, but you would still use the least you need to keep the mystery...

2. The "feel" of the society and lifestyle was contemporary, rather than "the future". I'm guessing it's intended to be near-future, but it didn't feel like it. Maybe this changes further into the story.

3. I wonder if lesbianism might have become more common, given there's fewer men to share amongst the women.

4. I wonder if this might have had more impact the other way around - that is, fewer women. With women forming a downtrodden underclass, it could be argued it's only the real world stretched...

Overall: a polished work, and glad to read something set in Oz. I hope you're sitting on the fact HC are working with you on the quiet to get it up to publishable standard for worldwide release...

Best wishes with it.

Regards,

TomW

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errickagrace

wrote 175 days ago

wow, up to chapter 5 and LOVING it. you write beautifully. the whole premise reminds me a bit of the handmaid's tale by margaret atwood. this is just awesome, going on my watch

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Satoru Reid

wrote 181 days ago

LOVE IT!! That's all I can say... this took my breath away! BEAUTIFUL! I want an actual HardCover copy.

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Jacqui9999

wrote 184 days ago

A AWESOME COVER, THE BOOK TAKE YOU THERE BEFORE YOU GET THERE. GOD BLESS IT SEEMS SO REAL. GOOD LUCK.

JACQUELINE MICHELLE BROWN RAMIREZ-MARTINEZ
FAYETTEVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA

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RazorBladeKiss14

wrote 187 days ago

loved it so far, I'm on chapter 4 but need to get off so I'll read this later!!

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RazorBladeKiss14

wrote 187 days ago

this is great! I love it!!! I can't wait to read the full story!!!! =)

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celticdruidess

wrote 188 days ago

i love this !!!!!!!!!!!! OMG i want more!!!!!

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epcelia

wrote 188 days ago

This is really good, the first story i have actually read on here, and i love it, a lot of stories, some classics even don't get my attention, and bore me, but this had me reading without a closing it up to do something else! -waiting for some more(:

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jocelynwashere

wrote 193 days ago

i love this so much,

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Dark Nite Rayne

wrote 194 days ago

Fabulous story! Wonderfully originaly and beautifully written. Read the whole thing in about an hour this morning, and I cannot wait for more. Keep up the marvelous work!

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MIC

wrote 195 days ago


“We spoke the words earnestly while thin trails of blood ran down our arms, falling in uneven droplets on the sand”---love this!

“Making a blood pact seemed like something that only happened in weird cult movies”—hah!

“As though they’d rather stick hot needles in their eyes than be female”---hah! SO true!

“walking the bit of fluff that masqueraded as a dog”—hah! I love it!

“Tinting the crowd a sickly orange colour, making their faces twisted and ugly”---this is good

“Thoughts of marriage took up no real estate in my head”---nice!!!

It mean, “kill the little girls”---crazy!

“Something was edging into my mind, like a shadow”----good

“stretched tight over their ballooned bellies were suddenly our objects of desire”---hah!

Oh, you are good. No wonder you have a pretty yellow star. :) Love your humor! I am cracking up!!! Great pace, great
progression of the story .... wonderful writing, well done! ~Morgan;)

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Sierra Haslem

wrote 199 days ago

I love it! I got to the end and just wished for more! The writing is amazing!

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Cinnamon135

wrote 199 days ago

MORE!!! ;)

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LLR. The Coal Train Baby

wrote 199 days ago

Captivating!! I read about this story on one of the forums and I thought I'd check it out. I started with chapter one, thinking i'd read a chapter or two but I read it all the way to chapter 24! I love it! I'll definitely keep a watch out for this one. Keep up the amazing work! I can't wait to read more!

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Aelaina

wrote 201 days ago

Holy Crap!!! I love this story. It's heartbreaking yet beautiful. When is there going to be more? I would love to read more. You have such an amazing way of putting feelings into words that describe them perfectly. I love it :D

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Aussie Chica

wrote 201 days ago

I really like it. No like isn't the right word. I really love it!!!! Its very original, unlike anything else I have ever read. And believe me I have read A LOT! Thanks for the AWESOMUS read!!!! Please keep me updated :)

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rose_belikov

wrote 201 days ago

UPDATE!!!!!!

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Poem

wrote 204 days ago

oh my god. Wow! This is a complelty original idea that you took and made even cooler. Well done! Get published. :)

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Ximena

wrote 207 days ago

WOW ! Amazing ! Really original and belieble ! I SOOOO loved it !

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leahsayshellooo

wrote 208 days ago

this is really amazing. It reminds me of uglies but is so much better. I love it, and I love your character. She is such a strong woman and I really love her character. Tully is sweet too. Your writing style is lovely, it is decriptive but simple, it kind of reminds me of Ray Bradbury. Please continue to write!

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poppy12

wrote 209 days ago

this is shocking staggering even

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pandora23

wrote 209 days ago

from the first couple of chapters, i can tell it will be good. i love the blood pact part so far, i'll be sure to keep reading. thanks :)

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ButterflyWingz

wrote 210 days ago

This is a wonderful piece of work! Your imagery is so vivid that I can see every scene clearly in my head. Drawn into this futuristic world through Ro's eyes you feel you are a part of it. I find it easy to connect with Ro's character, but have found Tully to be a lot less developed. Is this because you are maintaining a mysterious quality about him? I don't generally read sci-fi but I found that I kept wanting to come back and read on whenever I got a few spare minutes. It's written beautifully with lots of poignant one liners that just stop you in your tracks. It feels completely professional, like a work that has already been published. A premonition of things to come...! Absolutely fantastic, it is a pleasure to read - so give us some more girl!!!

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trickylullaby

wrote 210 days ago

I just finished up chapter 4 and I'm desperate to read more but it's already after 4:00am here. This is so good and incredibly well written. I have had a really hard time finding stories on this site that are worth my time but this one is a complete winner. It's written like a book that I could pick up off the shelf in a store. Everything you describe is so eloquent and vivid, I feel like I am truly there, tasting the dust and feeling the scathing gazes on me. The concept of the story is great and you are executing it beautifully. Just from four chapters I am hooked. Can't wait to come back for more!

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Mailreaper

wrote 211 days ago

Hey, I finally got to reading this through fully! I must say, love it incredibly now!
I found Tully to be my favorite out of them all. I'm not sure why, I just love him so much. When the hovercraft crashed, the scene just felt so real. So true to how they all would react. I felt the horror of the situation.
At some points, I found that the dialogue didn't end with a period of comma inside ofthe quotation marks. Is that supposed to be like that or is it a typo? It looked like this: "Hey, wait" You know, with no end punctuation.

Other then that, I found nothing. I was also wondering... Tully and Ro knew each other for a... day? Did they like each other that fast? Or am I just horribly confused? He's shipped off and then he comes back but... I dunno. Maybe I'm confused on their relationship.

But heck, that was great! Are you going to continue on this? I hope so. :)

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kity10

wrote 211 days ago

Wow! This is amazing! Not a dull moment or a part I wanted to skip in it. I love how you've developed the story line, and are setting up the main plot line for the rest of the story. I can't wait to read more!

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lyla

wrote 211 days ago

This was one of the best things I have read on inkpop so far! This story was incredibly original and creative. I wish it was longer, though! I wasn't quite ready to let go of Ro and Tully!

-lyla

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