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Rank 6116 (-64)
Word Count
52
Date submitted
12.09.2009
Date Updated
by Kariah
Poem
A cold box buried...beneath the rain.
A poem that I wrote a few days after my great grandfather (A world war 2 veteran) passed away.
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32 Comments
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wrote 33 days ago
so, first i would like to say thanks for the reviews on my two (and only, lol) poems. i never really check this site and seeing the email from inkpop when i signed into gmail today made me smile :) so i figured let me see who this girl is, and i'm glad i did. the intensity in this poem is amazing. for a poem with very few lines, you connected with me so well i could SWEAR that it was my own grandfather. you must also be very proud. may he rest in peace. it was people like him that made the world a better place, and this poem really pays homage to what veterans gave up for their country. I LOVE IT. :)
wrote 37 days ago
So deep, so sad, so true. If only things were different.
wrote 47 days ago
There's a hidden truth behind the poem that reveals itself whether you want to know or not. I like it, it carries a rhyme throughout, though there's only a little that actually rhymes. It touched deep to my heart, and I think it will to others' too. I can see why this would be your favorite, or at least one of them. It's sad, so sad. It brought tears to my eyes, but also made me think about it--maybe some of the same thoughts that were floating through your head when you wrote it. I'd tell you that you have an amazing talent, but of course you already know this and it'd be the twentieth time, at least, I'd have told you that. I like, how when reading the poem, you can sort of-what's the word???- feel *<-would be in italics* the pain and greif you might have felt when writing it-or at least I sensed pain and grief. Amazing job as always.Lyss :.....)
wrote 96 days ago
I absolutely love this poem ....Every line rings a truth with me and I love all the lines ....Its reminds me about my grandfather , when the casket is closed a generation is gone forever ....This very well done you have real talent and you brought a tears to my eyes ....I guess because my gramps landed on the beaches of normandy (a canadian) fought all the way to germany ....When I asked him did he do this for king and country , he said no I Did This For The Children , He went with hardly a whisper with family at his side, only a couple of his fighting friends were alive , most were long gone .... Well Done!!!
wrote 125 days ago
almost perfect. (i don't believe people can be perfect, but this is sooooo close!) :D
wrote 131 days ago
I actually know what this is saying! Very well-versed. Nice topic. Great meaning. Nice
wrote 161 days ago
It's short and sweet, but manages to have a powerful meaning behind it. I love this poem, it's well writen, and filled with emotions.
wrote 162 days ago
Wow amazing!
Wow this is really amazing :) And thank you for your comment :)
This is moving and has a touch of imagery to it that brings out the meaning of the boxGood job :)thanks 4 the comment btw
wrote 179 days ago
that is really powerful poem
wrote 181 days ago
Wow this is so powerful! Obama should see this....:]
wrote 182 days ago
I really loved the opening lines of this poem.My grandfather, a WWII vet, also passed away recently. This poem reminds me that he was a true hero and he is free now. Thank you! : )
wrote 183 days ago
beautiful, loved it, so...sad yet not depressing.
Wonderful, wonderful poem. I would like to compliment, in particular, the beginning and ending lines. Both seem to characterize death, but in heavy contrast to each other: the beginning seeming almost pessimistic, and the ending beautiful and mysterious.
really good poem, it's sad and simple and at the same time so dynamic and powerful. great job!
wrote 186 days ago
"The strongest go first/The ones best fit for the journey"Those lines are so powerful. I love this!Alexis
wrote 187 days ago
short and beautiful. the message comes through quite easily. beautiful job.
wrote 188 days ago
Very sad and strong. It does remind me of a war veteran. Not much else to say, but I think it would be cool if you read this at a Veteran's Day ceremony or something, it really stands out.
wrote 190 days ago
Simple, beautiful, sad and yet full of hope.Nice.Leigh
wrote 209 days ago
I love the flow, and the message, great job!
wrote 214 days ago
Good flow. I like it.
wow, this is great, nice job
wrote 226 days ago
I love this. It just shows such great respect for our older generation - something that seems to be lacking in society today in general. That generation was a very hard working one and saw a lot of war and hardship. Very good job.
wrote 227 days ago
great rhythm (yeah i know e/o said that already, but its true!) i 'specially like the title and picture, it all works together. nice job.
wrote 228 days ago
wow, its really deep, love the way you expressed your thoughts. the rhyming was pretty cool too :)xoxokedeja
wrote 229 days ago
I love the line 'The strongest go first," Nice job. God bless,...,
wrote 232 days ago
They always say rhythm and rhyme go hand in hand...Well, hon, you have both hands! Plus two extra feet for making it clear and flowing. This reminds me of my own grandpa that was in the Vietnam war. Love it(:
wrote 234 days ago
I thought this was beautifully written. I thought that you expressed your thoughts and feelings in this poem. I definitely enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work
i really liked the rhythm in this poem and the rhyming was excellent. keep up the good work :)
i really liked the rhythm to this poem and the rhyming was excellent. keep up the good work :)
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