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Book Jacket

Rank 7853 (-85)

Word Count

1311

Date submitted

01.01.2010

Date Updated

01.01.2010

The Milk Maiden

by Renaissance Girl

ShortStory: Historical Fiction

In this story I've fused two different worlds as best I could, but it still needs some work, so comments are welcome!

*Sorry, don't think I'm skilled enough to do this without giving the story away...yet. I'm still pretty new to Inkpop.

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shanana99

wrote 150 days ago

such imaginative descriptions. i love the first paragraph where it simply describes what the family is doing, but it totally gives us such a great "view" of the setting. and gwen seems to have such a fantastic imagination; the descripions of the world she's creating are also really good. i also like how at the end we find out that her full name is gwenivere, which is kind of a renaissance-y name and fits her made-up world. idk if that was intentional or not, but i thought it was a nice little detail to have in there.

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Esesily

wrote 150 days ago

This is really good writing [: It would do great as a book.

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Shiraz

wrote 219 days ago

This was well written with excellent spelling and grammar. It seems more like the beginning of a story than a complete short story. I see Gwen somehow entering the world she's drawing later on. I liked how she took from the real world to create her picture even though the worlds were so different. Good work!

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Zephy Rocks

wrote 244 days ago

I love this! I can see it as a book, although if it was you'd lose that last line as an ending...and the last line is fantastic. Your grammar is good and the descriptions of the characters and the place where Gwen lives are great too. Nice job! :)

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